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Monday, June 9, 2014

Letter I Should Write Someday

I took this picture last weekend and it makes me happy!





I have seen other bloggers do it. Maybe it's cathartic, I don't know. I figure why not give it a try. Here are a few letters I should write someday.

1. You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. I have and always will take the high road with you but you were not honest and I trusted you when I never should have. My bad. I know who you are now, and while I hope you are finally happy, as I am, I really just want you to mind your business now and stay out of mine and away from my friends. I am not your backup plan and I am not the weak, needy, love starved, pushover woman you thought you knew. I made so many bad decisions and I have had to forgive me. I have lost friendships because of the decisions and they all lead back to things I did with you. I don't wish I never met you because I am strong because I did. I thank you. Now, please learn to be happy with what God has gifted you.

2. I wish I could see a future where we could be friends. I have honestly never been so hurt by a friend. I believe you actually don't even care which boggles my mind because I thought you were one of my closest friends. I said some terrible things out of hurt but I can't even begin to apologize. I know others have said they weren't judging me but I know very well what you said to me and it was a judgement, pure and simple. Either way, I am happy and I am moving on with my life. It is unfortunate that several of my closest friends won't be there to share my future but God has provided me with the most amazing love. I thank you for being there when I needed you. You helped me through one of the saddest times of my life. I'm sorry you won't be at my wedding.

3. I love you. I will always love you. We may never be close again but I hope you know that if you ever need me, I will be there for you. I am happy and I don't want any apology. I just want you to be happy. Please do not let anyone from my past use you. I apologize for them digging. I hate that anyone has put you in the middle. I really do understand what you were trying to do even if I don't understand the motivation of everyone else. Life goes on and sometimes friendship changes. I accept that but that doesn't mean that I will ever stop caring. I wish you the best. Good luck.

4. I have tried so hard to be fair to you. I have tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but you make it so hard. You lie and you are selfish. Think just once of someone else. I won't pity you. I will do only the right thing, now and in the future. God, as my witness if you will not take care of things, I will.

5. We aren't perfect. I am stubborn, you are more than stubborn. I love you. You make me smile. You make me laugh. My world is just so much better with you in it. You are my best friend and you make me a better me. You also drive me absolutely crazy. XO

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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