This is so Dang HARD!!!

We all know moving sucks, that not news. I have moved from at least 7 to 8 apartments over my life. I lost count. That's what happens when you are in your twenties. I was different from most 28 year old single women though and some 15 plus years ago I bought a house.

When I bought it the house was going to be my 5 year house. I have spent over 3 times the amount of years I thought I would here. In that time I will have replace the roof twice, pulled out all the carpet and put in or finished floors myself, painted every wall in the house so many times in so many different colors I can't even count, replaced faucets, toilets, lights, ceiling fans, garage doors, planted pretty much everything in the back yard that isn't grass and the same in the front yard. I have laid pavers and even replace a water heater.

I have cried all weekend over moving. We have two weeks left before I say goodbye to my little house. I walked the park today for one of the last times as a home owner over here. It was about 103 degrees and I didn't mind because I won't get to walk the park again for who know how long. I am on an emotional roller coaster. It is crazy the emotions you feel when you say goodbye to your home. I never felt that way about an apartment. Apartments were never home to me. Apartments were a place to stay until I found home.

My house has been my safe place for 15 years. My house has been the place I cried and laughed. I have worked out in this place. I have been sick here. I have been tired here. I have been sad and happy here. I have nursed a broken heart or two here. I have fallen in love here. My house has been home to 4 of my dogs and 2 of my cats over time and a few fish and for the last few months it has been home to the man I love and his daughter who he and her mother have graciously agreed to let me share a little bit of her life with.

A house becomes a home when you put your back into it and your blood, sweat, tears, and heart into it. A house becomes a home when you plant trees, flowers, and food. A house becomes a home when you share it with family, friends, and the pets who share a piece of your heart. A house becomes a home when there are memories and everywhere I look I see a memory. I remember the kitchen and the silly flower wallpaper that was there when I bought it, the green walls that I painted it, and the pretty beige it is now. I remember painting the entryway when the Dallas Stars won the Stanley Cup. I remember calling my mom and screaming for joy when the Texas Rangers won their first ever American League championship in 2010. I remember crumbling to the floor in a fetal position when the Texas Rangers lost game 6 of the 2011 World Series.

I know when we find our new house we will make incredible memories there but right now that place doesn't exist yet for us and this place is running it's course and there is a level of sadness in the finality. Saying goodbye is hard and as we approach the final goodbye at the end of the month, the memories come flooding back and the tears come with them sometimes.





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