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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Thanks to all the Jerks who came before

Kiss Toads
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Sometimes time hop brings back memories you don't really need to recall. That happened today but in my new desire to look only at the brightside I thought I would take this opportunity to say thank you to all the jerks, idiots, and total well you know what's I dated before I met my husband because every once in a while they remind me...to be grateful for what a great man I have.

So thank you to the loser who left me crying in a bar.  I appreciate that you didn't want me because you really didn't deserve me.  Thank you also for standing me up a month later when I invited you to a tailgate.  You were a real jerk, not just a minor jerk.  The best part is as bad as you treated me, you never did apologize.  I wonder sometimes how you lived with  yourself but then I realize, you are just a selfish jerk who never cared.  My husband tries all the time and that's way more than you did any of the time.  I  Thank you for  not being the one. What a total disappointment you turned out to be.  I promise I don't live in a state of angry at you, I don't even think of  you.  I just remembered how pathetic I felt crying at that bar and the anger came back.  You were a real piece of poop. I hope nobody EVER treats your daughter the way you treated me.  

Thank you also to the other guy who tried to be charming but really just wanted to use me as a port of call when he was available.  I appreciate knowing I am not worth the extra effort to you because I was to my husband.  I really just want to thank you for helping me mend my broken heart over the dummy above and make room in it for my hubby.  The truth is, I didn't really try with you either so we are even. 

Thank you to the countless fools and idiots who passed because I didn't meet your expectations of what a woman should look like or act like.  Women aren't a cover on a magazine or a centerfold and if all you want is a trophy wife with no brains, fight, or will it is probably best you moved along. 

Thank you to all the spineless saps too afraid so ask.  I would have crushed you. I am way too strong for you.  

Thank you to all the women who came before and kissed the other toads so I didn't have to.  Kissing toads gets old.  

I am glad things worked out the way they did. I couldn't see it 3 years ago when I was crying, or 2 years ago when I was mending that broken heart.  I can see it now. Nobody else was good enough for me.  God knew it.  God had this plan all along.  I just had to wait for the timing.  That should be a bright side if you are waiting for  your prince something while kissing toads.  It will happen. Just stay away from the jerks who can't make up their minds or don't know what they want..  They are an absolute waste of time.