What a difference a year makes + Challenge Quotes

There are so many things going through my head this morning. So many things are completely different from how they were a year ago and nothing is how I thought it would be. Nothing worked out like I thought/hoped it would in so many ways.



Ask Josh Hamilton what a difference a year makes. A year ago on this day he was coming off a near World Series victory. A year ago he owned the Ballpark. Today he is very likely the single most hated former Ranger great in club history. That's all on Josh but I have said my peace about him. This blog is about me. This is about being honest with myself.


I doubt I will move a mountain but I will ride them!


So much has changed. I am not sorry. A year ago I was no where near as strong as I am today. I was also a lot more hopeful than I am today. Life is a trade-off, I guess. The person I am today is better but the person I am today is probably a little more jaded. That's ok because I am too trusting and too giving as a rule. Ask any of my friends and they will probably tell you I would give them the world if it was mine to give. When I love someone, it takes a lot for me to abandon them. I don't quit on my friends.


Dr. Seuss knew me!



There isn't a lot I would change about the last year because I had to try and I had to be open to fail. I love my life but I really don't know if love exists anymore and I did last year.





Friday my mother asked me if I was seeing anyone new. I off-handedly responded "nobody special. Nobody wants me." My mom snapped back: "That's because you aren't looking. You quit trying." My mom is a education and psychology major. She is a counselor by profession so trying to pull one over on her usually doesn't work. I have given up. She is right. I am not prepared to open myself up to being hurt right now. I may never be prepared to open myself up to that again. That is NOBODIES fault. That is a choice I made. I wouldn't really do things differently today with the exception of two things. I will run the next time a man tells me I am special but he just doesn't know what he wants. We as woman tend to hear what we want and I heard him but I thought he was afraid. The other thing is about pride and self-respect. I will never let myself get so drunk that I forget who I am and cry in a bar. That's not me. I am strong. I have been through Hell from the time that I was 5 years old and I survived. I cry a lot but I survive. That was probably the worst night of my adult life. I made it that way and again that is my fault. I am taking responsibility for the things that I do wrong. I am accepting the present and understanding the past. I refuse to think about the future because tomorrow never comes.






So what have I learned? I have learned to believe in myself above any man. I have learned to believe in God above myself. I have learned that I have the most faithful, protective, wonderful friends in the world and even when they want to beat people up for me or unleash the wrath of well WRATH... they respect my choices and are amazingly supportive when I just need a hug or a shoulder or an ear. They tell me I am beautiful and amazing and awesome. They love me back. I wouldn't trade that for all the dumb boys on the planet earth or even the right one at the wrong time.



I really do believe in love. Love never fails.
It changes, it grows, it becomes stronger.
















I love you all for reading this. This one was hard but I needed it.

Simply,
Laura
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

#30DaysOfBiking: Biking is life

Today is day 1 of my 30 Days of Biking pledge!!!!



I wanted to take some time to talk about biking today. If you follow my blog,  me on Twitter  or my Blog Facebook page, you may have noticed I like mountain biking. You may have noticed I LOVE mountain biking. Truth be told, we don't really have mountains in Dallas or Ft. Worth. I know this comes as a huge surprise to all my friends from DFW reading this but what we have is more or less hills and some well placed ditches and creek beds. There is a reason that DORBA is the Dallas Off Road Biking Association.
Now, I am sure there are mountain bike snobs out there who would scoff at the stuff that I find challenging but that's ok. I don't bike for them, I bike for me!



So let's talk about biking love!
My father taught me to ride a bike when I was 4. It is one of the last experiences he got to have with me before he passed away. The training wheels came off my little red bike and he ran along with me promising he wouldn't let me go until he let me go and I rode. Like most kids who start riding I didn't realize I was alone until he clapped and said, "keep going, Laura."




When I thought about this experience recently I was riding at Horseshoe Trail and I had nearly fallen off a bridge into a creek. That stuff happens sometimes. I fall. I fall a lot, sometimes. That is when I realized something, biking is life.
My father taught me to ride knowing he had to let go because his ride was ending and mine was just starting. He knew I would fall and I would get back up and try again. That's why he told me to keep going.




Sometimes when you get on a bike you do incredible things and sometimes you do incredibly stupid things. Every now and then I take a hill I have never made it down or every once in a while I manage to struggle up a hill I have never made before. That doesn't mean I have mastered it. It doesn't mean the next time I try I will make it any more than the time I run into a tree I have successfully passed 30 times means I will ever hit that tree again. I celebrate the successes and I pick myself up, dust myself off, and get right back on my bike after the falls.




I don't blame my bike when I fall. I blame me. Sometimes when I ride after work my mind is still on the stress from the day. Sometimes when I ride I may be sad because my last relationship ended or my next one hasn't really started. Sometimes when I ride with friends I am too busy chatting. Basically what I am saying is the bike didn't make me fall it was my lack of attention to where I am, what I am doing, or my over estimation of my skill level that made me fall.




Biking is life. To be a successful biker you must always take risks and challenge yourself. You must always push a little harder and go a little further. You have to take a chance on a new trail or a different bike or maybe you have to go clipless. You have to let go of your fear of falling and getting hurt because anything worth having may cause you pain. That's biking and that's life!




So I thank my dad for having the strength to teach me to ride and the ability to let go and let me fall. I thank all of the people who are in my life who love to celebrate my success with me and hold me when I fail. I thank all of the people who have hurt me for teaching me to be able to love and let go. I thank myself for not giving in to the negative voice inside that told me over and over to quit. I thank God most of all for always catching me when I fall and helping me back up.
That's life my friends!




Simply,
Laura





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Blog Hopping; Wild Card/ What I'm Loving Wednesday!

Linking up with Samantha, Rebekah, and Marquis




Linking up today with Jamie for What I'm Loving Wednesday.

I'm Loving:

*God
He has a way of making me calm when I am worried and I am a worrier! Yesterday I got a message that my uncle was being rushed to the ER in Indianapolis after hitting his head in a fall. There was bleeding on the brain and they weren't sure if there would be brain surgery. Meanwhile, I am in Dallas 900 miles away and I am panicked. The only family I have left in Indiana is my Dad's and if you followed me for a time, y'all know how important my Dad was to me. (My Mom is too, don't get me wrong.)
Thankfully, my cousins sent me a message that the neurologist did not think brain surgery was needed and they were keeping him for observation.

*My Facebook and Twitter families who reached out to pray and comfort me while I was freaking out. I am blessed to have so many awesome friends who have been there for me all year and who are just a little over protective at times. (it is sweet that they offer to beat people up for me, really...but I am fully capable of handling myself.)

*My Mom who was also praying for her brother-in-law. Even though she has remarried, they consider her family and she considers them family.



*#4 (or #3 if you are reading this after 1:05 central time)


The number of days until It's Baseball Time in Texas! I am so ready!

*Hummus Chips




I kind of stumbled upon these and I LOVE them! I am going to look for them and take them to all my games at Rangers Ballpark this summer because they are not high in calories and I love that they are made from Chick-peas!



*Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner




I bought this Shampoo and Conditioner looking for something to give my hair strength because, as I am always dieting my hair becomes kind of brittle and breaks. I also have super fine hair.




Seriously, my hair is so shiny! I really love this stuff! It highlights & strengthens the fiery red. Hello! (That's the real color which shows up differently in different light).



*My crockpot


I'm thinking of using my crockpot to actually cook healthier meals. Crazy! I know!!



*My furkids:


My sweet girls who have been by my side for days while I was sick!
*my Twitterless Lent which I did break Tuesday because I needed to ask for prayers for my uncle, is almost over. Now I can drive everyone crazy and not just Chance, Khrystal and Rachel who have been good sports about keeping me entertained without Twitter.



*These shoes:




Ok, I would never wear these Christian Louboutin's but I know just the girl who would and when I sent them to her via text I could hear her squeal! They aren't me, but they are awesome!


*George Clooney/Jesus/God?




This photo off Facebook. Did you know that George Clooney was the spitting image of Jesus? I had no clue. Good job putting one over on me! You don't suppose George Clooney actually, nah....?

*The 30 day bike challenge I start on April 1! I am a lot nervous but all I have to do is ride daily. (I have never done more than 4 days straight). I can iron out time to ride even if the weather is bad on pavement. I am committed to this and I am super excited! I really want to get super fit. I have a goal that I hope to reach by next winter to compete. Yes it is crazy but so am I! If you want to accept the challenge you can sign up here: 30 Days of Biking Challenge
Just click on Pledge and fill out the form.  That's it! Oh, and ride!

*The Voice:
Wow is this season awesome! I always have loved Blake-Adam, Adam-Blake but Usher and Shakira are completely awesome! Love it! So much fun!

*That it has been one year since I wrote this Blog: Boys are Stupid and Girls are Crazy
This is one of my most visited and one of my personal favorite blogs.

*Bloglovin': You can follow me here: Simply Me the way I see it




What are you loving this week?
Hit me up and let me know!



----Enjoy the ride!


Simply,
Laura
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's Ok Thursday

Linking up for It's Ok Thursday with Amber and Neely so let's see what's Ok today!


*It's ok that I checked my windows and doors last night after watching Criminal Minds. The episode which talked a lot about social media may have hit a little too close to home.



*It's ok that I can't believe it is only Thursday! I feel like I have had a week of Monday and I am so ready to spend some QT on the back of my bike for a long, long ride.

So speaking of.....


*it's ok that I have bruises I didn't know I had. The ones on my arms and elbows I knew about but the huge one on my leg shocked me. I don't know how I did it but I have fallen so many times in the last week I'm not surprised. I am really glad I haven't put my clipless system on the bike yet. I think I would be dead or something!

*It's ok that one of my co-workers saw me Wednesday and gasped saying "If you go to the grocery store with all those bruises people are going to send you to a battered women's shelter."  I laughed and told her I was going to get a shirt that says:
Nobody hits me,
I hit trees.
I <3 my BIKE!
*it's ok that I was just so exhausted Wednesday night that I made myself not workout. I felt terrible about it but I also knew I wanted to ride a lot this weekend and if I am going to complete a Th-M stretch I am going to have to listen when I am exhausted! Sucks but I guess I am human.

*it's ok that I have eaten this for lunch two days in a row:



Well, I haven't eaten all of that because that would be crazy but I have been on a Veggie and Hummus kick lately and I am really ok with that.


*it's ok that I promised a friend I would do my own special "March Madness" bracket Friday. I'm not going to tell you what but let's just say it's hot and has nothing to do with college hoops.

*it's ok to be happy. Really, truly happy. I don't know what happened but something just clicked and I realized that I have the power and that is very liberating.

*It's ok to be a little bit selfish for a change. It's time to say "I choose me".

*it's ok that friends say "so...you dating anybody new yet?" Um, I don't know. Am I?

*It's ok that I saw a picture of Garth Brooks (who I love) with George Strait (who I also love) and thought "who's the old chubby guy who looks like Garth Brooks?" I guess we are all older and maybe a little chubbier, Garth. Well, George isn't but I am not sure he is human.

That's it! Next time we chat it will be FRIDAY!!

Enjoy the ride!

Simply,
Laura
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Motivation Monday: More like Mountain Bike Monday with some Playoff baseball too.

This really should be called Mountain Bike Monday because that is what it is.

Does it seem to anyone else like mountain biking is taking over my life if not my bank account? Wait, it is taking over my bank account. New Trek bike that I already have replaced in my mind with a full suspension 29er, $8.00 on tubes x 4 two of which I have already gone through thanks to emergencies this weekend at LBH for another rider and one for me later,  $20 on multi purpose tool, $?? on mini pump, $25 on saddle pack. An endless list of stuff I need/want including shoes, shorts, LED headlights, a bike GPS, a better fitting helmet, a good riding partner who looks like Bradley Cooper would be nice too but one can't have everything, I suppose.   Every time I ride LBH it costs me a tube so an endless supply of those would work. Thank God I have Slime tubes. At least they leak slow enough I can get the bike home before they go flat. Actually, I think the tube resealed itself once I found the thorn and removed it. Little bugger. I just already had it off my bike by that time. (Just a note, learn to change a tube if you are going to ride.  Last weekend I got an lesson on the trail the hardway on this from another rider.  Ted was nice enough to give me his spare tube and teach me how to check my tire for offending objects and replace my tube. He also got me out of RLP when I wasn't sure which direction to go.)

Basic Training:
Saturday morning I went out to River Legacy Park (RLP) in Arlington which is quickly becoming one of my favorite places. Honesty, between the Rangers and this park I think it is clear I need to live closer. I should find a way to make this happen! I was out there for a beginers training class with DORBA (Dallas Off Road Bicycle Association). I have to say, I met the nicest people. Really! There was another lady named Laura. Reminded me a lot of myself. Hates bridges, rode the EKG out at River Legacy her second time through (I rode it my first) inspite of the warning expert rider signs. (Which we learned were a little misleading because it is a public park. Not really expert level stuff there. I could have guessed that since I only really struggled with one hill and that was a climb. I suck at climbing.) Our instructors were the nicest guys. Glen, part of the North Texas Mountain Bike Patrol (They help people with minor breakdowns & injuries) and a River Legacy River Rat (a group of riders that ride that trail all the time and work at keeping the trail clean) took us on our tour. I went with the intermediate group. I hung tough thank you very much. We did the full tour just knocking off a couple minor extensions at the end. I think Glen said we cut off maybe a mile. Guys are funny. Glen was very encouraging. Told me several times trust myself or my bike. At one point he turned to me and said very genuinely "you are doing really well".  That was nice. I think it was just because I wasn't being too female about stuff. What wasn't cool was the 20 something boys who clearly did not need to be in the class. They wanted to play, jump, and not learn and this was a large class not conducive to racing and having people right on your tail in the event of emergencies or if the rider infront of you, say a shy teenage girl, for example, was struggling with a climb and the idiot behind you was riding your tail. (Is this really motivating anyone to mountain bike yet?) At any rate. Glen was nice enough to stay after and assure me that my biggest current worry, my tires, were good. My bike came with a racing tire. They were ment to go fast which means I lose a little in the way of traction on climbs but he said I just need to keep practicing. I was concerned because in my turns I lose traction sometimes in the back tire.  He said that I need the front tire in turns not the back and to stop worrying so much. (Glen clearly doesn't know me! I am a worrier by nature!)  He said people have favorite tires and they get used to them but the tire I have is just fine to learn on and build my skill. That's what I need to concentrate on now. I like that. He talked straight to me. The guys were great. They were incredibly encouraging, especially to the women in the group.  Spent a good amount of time specifically encouraging women to stay involved.  I don't remember the other instructors names but they were all helpful. I love the fact they watched us take the climbs and gave us pointers. Mostly that I was going up in the wrong gear. I am sure that is something that just comes with time and skill. Watching some of the guys out there takes your breath away. There are a couple of those hills I just don't see me ever trying. I have no desire to be airborne on a bike. I also have no desire to face plant off of mine but I have already done that once so you know, stuff happens. The best thing I learned in the class was the 10 yard rule. Keep your gaze 10 yards ahead when riding. This is extremely important when going through tree gates. It is scary how close some of those trees are. If you look at the tree, you will hit it. River Legacy and LB Houston both have some tight tree gates so this was some really useful advice.

Wheel Women:


In the afternoon Khrystal and I went over to LB Houston in Irving to meet up with the Wheel Women. (I am in that picture somewhere). The DORBA ladies who are doing an 8 week park tour starting this weekend. That's right, we rode two parks in one day because we are crazy. Actually, it wasn't bad. It was just a little under the distance of riding Northshore and I learned a lot. First, my pack does not hold anywhere near enough water. I ran out both times. Now, to be fair, neither ride was straight. These were group rides. One was a very long and delayed training ride. One had a tire emergency.  Both had several stops.  That being said, you never know why you have to stop on a trail. I keep learning this lesson. More water is going to be needed for Northshore which I will be riding next month.
LB Houston (LBH) and RLP are similar trails in some ways. They have lots of flat, winding areas and both trails are very pretty. The skills area at RLP is better. They were planning a reno on LBH's Skills area but there are some circumstances there that are challenging that right now. It is a nice park. Lot's of flats, switchbacks, and some dips. The women of DORBA, the Wheel Women, what can I say? First, Jennifer our group leader who got 'stuck' leading the beginners, you rock! I am just so grateful I finally know where the trail picks back up across the street so I no longer have to ride back on the road! Second, to my roadie friend, (I wish I had gotten your name) who gave me the advice of shopping for the full suspension 29er after the holidays when all the bike stores get sell backs from the Plano folks. I love you! That is genius! The ladies were so much fun and the bravest bunch of beginners ever. Nobody chickened out of anything except me. My legs were jello by the time we got to the climbs at the end of the trail and I only did one of the two. Hey, I was in hour 5 on a bike and hour 7 of being out in a park. That is a little beyond my norm. Give a girl a break. I also didn't plan well. I need to take some Goo (YUCK) or Gummies (Slightly better), Powerade, & more water!
The best part of this is I learned a lot, had a great time, and was utterly exhausted to my bones. I think I fell asleep by 9:30 on a Saturday night. I'm not that old but I was tired. It was a good tired.

Lately, life has been a struggle. Some emotional. (Not all, some junk too but I am dealing). The biggest struggles are always in my head. No problem is ever as bad as it seems at the moment. The best part about the trail is the climb, the dip, the switchback, whatever the obstacle it is just exactly the size it seems. It is as hard as it is and no harder. It can be overcome with skill, determination, and time. Northshore kicked my butt the first time because I was completely unprepared. I didn't leave myself enough time. I didn't bring enough water. I rode on an empty stomach. I rode alone. I had never ridden a dirt trail and I started with one that is basically 18 miles. Start small and work your way up.Never be afraid to walk. Be prepared for a flat. Always, Always have water. Looking back, nothing I encountered at Northshore was anything I couldn't handle today. By the time I ride next month I intend to conquer that trail and put it behind me.

Northshore doesn't worry me anymore...now Boulder which we ride sometime in October....Boulder scares the crap out of me!

You don't have to mountain bike (although honestly how can you not want to?) But find something you love and do it. I started this adventure 3 years ago when I was training for the half marathon. One of my trainers told me about DORBA back at that time. He told me about Northshore too. I got hurt running and it slipped my mind until I got lost on Northshore and a friend of mine who rides mentioned to me (while he was telling me I was dumb for going out on Northshore, I think) that DORBA has free classes.

Check out Meet-Up groups too if you are looking for free activities. I see a lot of free exercise classes on there.

Okay, that's it. I will try not to go Mountain Bike crazy in too many blogs. The Rangers playoffs will take blog space soon. To prepare you I will end with some photos from Thursday night at Dr. Pepper Park in Frisco where the Frisco Rough Riders were playing the Corpus Christi Hooks in AA playoffs.




This is the Home Plate entrance to Dr. Pepper Park




Duece the mascot. He is a prairie dog but Rachel thinks he is a Chupacabra.





I like this picture. It is our required Ballpark pose. Rachel and Me of course.





Riders won in walkoff fashion!

It is finally cooling off in Texas.  Hope it lasts.  Happy Monday!!

Simply,
Laura