What a difference a year makes + Challenge Quotes

There are so many things going through my head this morning. So many things are completely different from how they were a year ago and nothing is how I thought it would be. Nothing worked out like I thought/hoped it would in so many ways.



Ask Josh Hamilton what a difference a year makes. A year ago on this day he was coming off a near World Series victory. A year ago he owned the Ballpark. Today he is very likely the single most hated former Ranger great in club history. That's all on Josh but I have said my peace about him. This blog is about me. This is about being honest with myself.


I doubt I will move a mountain but I will ride them!


So much has changed. I am not sorry. A year ago I was no where near as strong as I am today. I was also a lot more hopeful than I am today. Life is a trade-off, I guess. The person I am today is better but the person I am today is probably a little more jaded. That's ok because I am too trusting and too giving as a rule. Ask any of my friends and they will probably tell you I would give them the world if it was mine to give. When I love someone, it takes a lot for me to abandon them. I don't quit on my friends.


Dr. Seuss knew me!



There isn't a lot I would change about the last year because I had to try and I had to be open to fail. I love my life but I really don't know if love exists anymore and I did last year.





Friday my mother asked me if I was seeing anyone new. I off-handedly responded "nobody special. Nobody wants me." My mom snapped back: "That's because you aren't looking. You quit trying." My mom is a education and psychology major. She is a counselor by profession so trying to pull one over on her usually doesn't work. I have given up. She is right. I am not prepared to open myself up to being hurt right now. I may never be prepared to open myself up to that again. That is NOBODIES fault. That is a choice I made. I wouldn't really do things differently today with the exception of two things. I will run the next time a man tells me I am special but he just doesn't know what he wants. We as woman tend to hear what we want and I heard him but I thought he was afraid. The other thing is about pride and self-respect. I will never let myself get so drunk that I forget who I am and cry in a bar. That's not me. I am strong. I have been through Hell from the time that I was 5 years old and I survived. I cry a lot but I survive. That was probably the worst night of my adult life. I made it that way and again that is my fault. I am taking responsibility for the things that I do wrong. I am accepting the present and understanding the past. I refuse to think about the future because tomorrow never comes.






So what have I learned? I have learned to believe in myself above any man. I have learned to believe in God above myself. I have learned that I have the most faithful, protective, wonderful friends in the world and even when they want to beat people up for me or unleash the wrath of well WRATH... they respect my choices and are amazingly supportive when I just need a hug or a shoulder or an ear. They tell me I am beautiful and amazing and awesome. They love me back. I wouldn't trade that for all the dumb boys on the planet earth or even the right one at the wrong time.



I really do believe in love. Love never fails.
It changes, it grows, it becomes stronger.
















I love you all for reading this. This one was hard but I needed it.

Simply,
Laura
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

#30DaysOfBiking: Biking is life

Today is day 1 of my 30 Days of Biking pledge!!!!



I wanted to take some time to talk about biking today. If you follow my blog,  me on Twitter  or my Blog Facebook page, you may have noticed I like mountain biking. You may have noticed I LOVE mountain biking. Truth be told, we don't really have mountains in Dallas or Ft. Worth. I know this comes as a huge surprise to all my friends from DFW reading this but what we have is more or less hills and some well placed ditches and creek beds. There is a reason that DORBA is the Dallas Off Road Biking Association.
Now, I am sure there are mountain bike snobs out there who would scoff at the stuff that I find challenging but that's ok. I don't bike for them, I bike for me!



So let's talk about biking love!
My father taught me to ride a bike when I was 4. It is one of the last experiences he got to have with me before he passed away. The training wheels came off my little red bike and he ran along with me promising he wouldn't let me go until he let me go and I rode. Like most kids who start riding I didn't realize I was alone until he clapped and said, "keep going, Laura."




When I thought about this experience recently I was riding at Horseshoe Trail and I had nearly fallen off a bridge into a creek. That stuff happens sometimes. I fall. I fall a lot, sometimes. That is when I realized something, biking is life.
My father taught me to ride knowing he had to let go because his ride was ending and mine was just starting. He knew I would fall and I would get back up and try again. That's why he told me to keep going.




Sometimes when you get on a bike you do incredible things and sometimes you do incredibly stupid things. Every now and then I take a hill I have never made it down or every once in a while I manage to struggle up a hill I have never made before. That doesn't mean I have mastered it. It doesn't mean the next time I try I will make it any more than the time I run into a tree I have successfully passed 30 times means I will ever hit that tree again. I celebrate the successes and I pick myself up, dust myself off, and get right back on my bike after the falls.




I don't blame my bike when I fall. I blame me. Sometimes when I ride after work my mind is still on the stress from the day. Sometimes when I ride I may be sad because my last relationship ended or my next one hasn't really started. Sometimes when I ride with friends I am too busy chatting. Basically what I am saying is the bike didn't make me fall it was my lack of attention to where I am, what I am doing, or my over estimation of my skill level that made me fall.




Biking is life. To be a successful biker you must always take risks and challenge yourself. You must always push a little harder and go a little further. You have to take a chance on a new trail or a different bike or maybe you have to go clipless. You have to let go of your fear of falling and getting hurt because anything worth having may cause you pain. That's biking and that's life!




So I thank my dad for having the strength to teach me to ride and the ability to let go and let me fall. I thank all of the people who are in my life who love to celebrate my success with me and hold me when I fail. I thank all of the people who have hurt me for teaching me to be able to love and let go. I thank myself for not giving in to the negative voice inside that told me over and over to quit. I thank God most of all for always catching me when I fall and helping me back up.
That's life my friends!




Simply,
Laura





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone