The Long and Winding Road

Somehow every bit of my life can be summed up by a Beatles song.  Seriously, it is true. Hey Jude could have just as easily been Hey Laura.  My marriage is All You Need is Love. When my triplet nieces were born, I use to sing out of tune (See there, With a little help from my friends!) Yesterday. The kids loved it, until they didn't.  I will never forget the day when the triplets and I were playing with their Elmo doll and there I was singing away when one of them said "Shhh, Lala, Shhhhh!"   Broke my heart.  The triplets are 12 now and my nephew is in high school but they still call me Lala.

Anyway,  this blog is a sad but exciting blog.  You see, today closes a chapter of my life that started almost 14 years ago.  For the last year, I have been keeping a secret from almost all of you,  my dear friends.  The company that I have been working for is in liquidation and today is my last day at work.

For months I been searching for a new job.  I have 18 years of experience in my industry and this job search was the completely miserable.  Apparently, experience means little or nothing if you can't pass assessment exams and I have what is known as Test Anxiety.   So bad in fact that when I was in high school, I would ace the SAT and ACT practice tests but when it came to doing the actual test, I bombed both.   It takes real skill to be this bad at testing and I am.  Sadly, most of the job assessments I failed didn't even seem hard.  I even failed a personality test.  HOW do you fail a personality test anyway?  I apparently, have none.   My nerves were shot and my confidence was in the crapper after all the interviews, assessments, and stress.  I cried sometimes and wanted to cry a lot more.

Cinnamon-Not just a boss, a friend!

So for months I have been hunting and searching for a new job, terrified that the one I had would disappear and we would lose our house.  My husband has been incredibly supportive through this job hunt.  He told me I was smart and to ignore the assessments.  He told me to keep fighting.

Finally, 2 weeks ago the opportunity of a lifetime showed up.   I went to an interview and was hired on the spot with a brand new and I mean brand new company with only about a year of history but built by owners with proven track records.   The job starts tomorrow!   I am going to be so incredibly busy helping this new company grow and develop.

2010 watching Rangers World Series with Trish, Cinnamon, and Michelle

Lots of going away lunches lately!  Mary and Robert

Last Christmas 

Some of my blog friends may have noticed for the last few weeks I have been able to post a lot of blogs, comment on a lot of blogs, and redo basically my entire blog.  I even went back and edited some old blogs that had pictures that once were there but are now gone.  I have had a lot of free time on my hands at work.  That time is about to end but I am really thrilled.  It has been a struggle to pass the time when there is so little to do and my hands are tied.   Still, I have been in it together with some amazing people who I love.

Jerod and Rachel

L-R Mario, Mark, Janie, Jamal, Mary, & Russel one of my all time favorite teams of many!

All that being said, I am going to miss my old company.  I have been here nearly 14 years and through that time, I have made some incredible friends, not just co-workers.  I have been blessed to have some of the most incredible people work for me and I have had an amazing boss.   I know this word is thrown around a lot but we truly have become a family.

So to all of my team members, former team members, co-managers, and my boss, thank  you for 14 years of memories and fun.   I learned so much from each and every one of you.  I appreciate the role you have played in my life.  I will miss this place.

Baseball Talk: Playoff Baseball in Arlington

It's Baseball Time in Texas!

Ready for baseball!

So I am a girl who loves baseball.  I grew up in Northern Indiana as a Chicago Cubs fan.  My first baseball game was at Wrigley Field.  When we moved to Texas I was 10.  I quickly came to love my Texas Rangers. (That doesn't mean I completely turned my back on the Cubs, I am cheering them in the post season too but head to head I bleed Rangers Red!)

Twitter Tailgates are the best!

We managed to score tickets to the first home game of the playoffs.  It helps when you are some sort of season ticket holder because you get options on post season play.   So we met up with a bunch of our Rangers friends from Twitter.   I am lucky enough to call a lot of Rangers fans, friends in real life and a lot of them showed up for the game!   These are some of my favorite people and I was lucky enough to spend the pregame with my friends Janice and her new man, Ronnie, Monica, and Julie and see some of my favorite friends who I don't see much anymore like Eric!  Plus I got to hang with so many of our Twitter friends who we only tend to see, basically during the season.    I have to give a shout out to Darren for organizing the whole tailgate and bringing the ice for my drink. :) 

Going into this game, I have been feeling icky for over two weeks.  Last week I was so sick Sunday-Wednesday that I was running a fever, in bed, and barely alive.  I always seem to get sick during the playoffs so when I finally saw my doctor, she said "You aren't feeling good.  Of course you are sick, the Rangers are in the playoffs!"  She knows me so well.   Usually I get bronchitis but this year I was lucky enough to get some killer stomach virus that will not end. (Yes, I am still suffering though not as bad as last week.)  On the bright side, I have lost about 10 pounds thanks to not being able to eat much of anything and my wedding set is so lose it is driving me crazy twirling on my finger.  I will take the weigh loss, thank you very much!  I could live without the stomach bug but at least it has its perks.

So many good fans!

Rangers fans and Cubs fans have a lot in common.   Namely, a lot of years for fruitless baseball.   That doesn't hurt the fan base it just makes us loyal.   The game started at 7 pm and the Cowboys were playing next door and yet, the parking lot was packed at 3 o'clock on game day.  Rangers fans, true Rangers fans, are some of the best in baseball.   Yes, there are bandwagon fans. There were a lot of Cowboys fans at the ballpark too, dressed head to toe in Cowboys stuff. (No really, the girl in front of me had Dallas Cowboys boots!  I thought I was bad with my Rangers Toms).   I don't mind them. I wish they would have at least bothered to bring a Rangers hat too so they didn't look so stupid sitting there in their Cowboys crap but.... they pay for seats, hats, and shirts (theoretically) and they give the club more money to spend on good players.  I wish they were better fans and cheered for the club and didn't just sit there like bumps on a log because I know a ton of real fans who would have paid for those seats and happily been ROWDY but DFW is a strange sports place.   People like to say it is a football town but I don't believe that.  It is a winners town.  Whichever team is winning, that is the team people show up for even if they show up in stupid Dallas Cowboys jerseys, hats, boots, and sit there looking bored.   Someone remind me to tell you the story of the ALDS playoff shirt controversy.  Only in DFW could a shirt with the Dallas skyline (the recognizable DALLAS skyline) cause fans to cry like little, spoiled babies over a T-shirt!  That's the metroplex but it is home like it or not and sometimes, I don't. 

My honey's first playoff!

But, I digress....


So hubs and I ended up at the Ballpark for his first ever playoff game.  I was nervous. Really nervous. I always get a bad case of the "Oh my GAWD please let them wins" during the playoffs.  I have been known to spend 2 hours at the gym watching from the top of a workout machine of some variety. That was back when I was single though and had time for that!  Hubs was excited.  Baseball madness was about to swoop down on Arlington.  I walked into the Ballpark expecting Toronto to be on their game.  It was do or die for them.  The Rangers have to win 1 game to move on.  It was an elimination game.  The hardest game to close out.   Toronto didn't disappoint, sadly the Rangers just didn't have their offense going last night.   Disappointing but I expected it.  Today we win! Today we move on.  

My handsome nephew was at the game so I got a hug!

I ran into my sweet nephew who was there with his mother and grandma.  He is such a sweet boy and didn't even mind giving his Aunt Lala a hug.  The last time I saw him before the game he walked up to me and said "I always love seeing you.  You make me smile."   What a KID!!

New friends

And I made new friends, even though they wear Kinsler jerseys!  :)  I didn't hold it against her, she is a Tigers fan first.  (Kins was the Rangers 2nd baseman who was traded to Detroit in the Prince Fielder trade.  He said some not so nice things about the Rangers organization after the trade.  Disappointing for a player who came up through the system and seemed to have nothing but sour grapes.  Still, that is who Ian Kinsler is.  He never could keep his mouth shut when he should have.)

Hubs looking all hot an everything! 

My husband has such style.  Our friend Kimberly gave him some new shades and he spent a lot of time goofing off with them.

He likes to look grumpy in photos 

Of course when it was time for couples photos, something I make him do...he put his grumpy face on.

Such a beautiful day!

I love him, even though he pretends to be a big grump.   He is really just a giant kid and a nut.

Goofy Rangers fans!

With all the great friends at the game, we had a blast and the Ballpark...

The Ballpark was all dressed up 

Looked AMAZING all dressed up for the ALDS.   Today we win Rangers!

Rangers and USA pride!

The fans started off really excited and hyped up but as the game went on and Toronto took a 5-0 lead, it was hard to keep up this level of excitement.  No, I am not even going to blame it on the Cowboys bandwagon fans.   All the fans had a tough time keeping positive.   The game just felt off.   That's okay because Today we WIN Rangers!

Rangers Nation getting rowdy!

Game 4 is today and while I won't be there, I have a lot of good friends and great fans who will so I leave it in their capable hands because TODAY WE WIN RANGERS!  Let's move on to the ALCS and bring on whoever wants a piece of this.  (Me, I kinda hope it is the Astros because I would love to have home field advantage and I would love to eliminate THEM!)  

Hey, It's OK Tuesday

I am still dealing with a sick kid and the doctors are pretty much no help.  How frustrating is it when you have a child who wakes up in the middle of the night crying or getting sick and you have no idea how to help her?  

Okay so here is what is okay with me:

-I have had to work from home the last two days to keep track of the kiddo. She asked me to stay so what was I suppose to do?

-We lost one of our baby chicks yesterday and it makes me so sad. The only thing I can figure is that she got caught under her chicken sisters and was suffocated. I have checked on the remaining little ones repeatedly now making sure they are alright.  Paranoid? Maybe but it's okay. 

-The Texas Rangers are inducting Juan Gonzalez into their Hall of Fame.   In the past the team has been hesitant because Juan hasn't expressed a desire to return for the ceremony.   This year the club decided regardless of whether Juan shows up or not,  he was going to be inducted.   As a long time fan of this club, all I can say is, It's about time!  

-I didn't know until this morning who was even playing in the Stanley Cup much less that anyone had won.  

-I don't think I really understood how many roles a woman plays until I married.  I would kill for a weekend of doing nothing but watching movies and eating cereal.  I wouldn't trade my husband and kid for anything but sometimes I think I didn't really appreciate being single when I was.

-Speaking of that, I had a friend ask me to set them up with some of my friends then proceed to send me a list a mile long of what was acceptable.  I looked at my husband and said "I would not pass these qualifications.  Being lonely sucks but being lonely and picky as you know what is just too much."  I told my friend that I can't help.  I understand picky but many single people seem way too stuck on superficial or stupid things that don't matter like physical appearance, income, and geographically friendly locations.  Look, if you are perfect, you can afford to be THAT picky but if you aren't, take a hard look in the mirror, see yourself honestly, all the pimples, circles under your eyes,  grey hairs and wrinkles and  learn to love and accept your imperfections then find someone who thinks you are amazing just the way you are, warts and all, and try dating different people. You never know.  Someone outside your norm may end up treating you perfectly wonderful, loving you more than anyone but your mother, and accepting you while maybe, just maybe pushing you to new limits.  Hey, it could happen.  It happened to me and that is REALLY Okay.

-It's suppose to rain today and even though the lakes are flooded from the rain for the last 2 months, we have had 2 weeks of dry and I am okay with a little rain. Texas is hot in the summer!

-It seems to me like I am the ONLY person over 35 not running for President.  Can I ask you honestly, why would you want that job?  I mean I don't need a house that big and I certainly don't need the press watching me for weight gain, hair styles, and commenting on my lack of fashion sense.   (Remember when Hillary use to wear headbands when Bill ran?  No, okay you aren't old enough.  It was a MAJOR thing.)  It is REALLY okay that someone else gets that job.

Easter Weekend Happiness!

What a weekend!  Kentucky lost!  The Lady Irish are on the way to the National Championship, and BASEBALL is back!  Greatness!!!  Aside from that.....

Old and tired 

I swear I didn't stop all weekend.   Between a marathon shopping spree at Walmart Saturday morning.  (Rant Alert: I hate shopping at Walmart.  It is such a beating.  I do not understand why they can't put the same floor plan in all stores.  Why must each be different.  It drives me crazy! I promise you it does not encourage me to shop more it just makes me a bitter, angry shopper),  catfishing on Lake Lavon all day Saturday afternoon (the fish weren't biting but that didn't stop the Easter miracle. We threw back the two we caught and they have a 2nd chance at life as we know it!) and beginning the refinishing of my old table Saturday night.

This is just a peek.  The legs are already color 2 and the top is being "distressed"

This table actually belongs to my husband pre-me and it has 6 matching chairs but I am not hand painting those bad boys.   The paint sprayer will be in full effect for that.  Once I finish the table, I will decide on what color I want to do the chairs but right now I am leaning toward a black chair with light distressing.  Anyhow, this table caused me a few problems.   First, it is veneer.  Second, I did not know it was veneer.  (It was hubs table from his 1st marriage and he doesn't have a memory of important stuff like that but I bet he can tell you all about the pig he shot 20 years ago! XO)   I should have known but they did a good job of faking it.  Even underneath they made it look like it is solid wood.  SIGH!   Anyway, I have something awesome planned...I just wanted to give you a peek.

Easter at our new neighbors 

Easter Sunday while I worked on the table some more, hubs got ready for a party at the neighbors.  My mom had some tragic home improvement problems and so there was no Easter at her house and while we could have done it at mine, the neices and nephews were scattered at odd ex-spouses houses so it was just one of those years where everyone did their own thing.  In a side note, my nephew won his baseball championship this weekend!  So proud of the big guy.  He is becoming quite a young man.  

This was the kid race

So we took fish, hush puppies, and french fries to the neighbors and they had a variety of Mexican goodness including this amazing chicken I am still thinking about and which they confided, I can get at the Mexican meat market 5 miles down the road.   I have been there before but now I know what to get.  Winning!!  I totally believe in learning about different cultures and experiencing the best of all of them and sharing them.  My family is Hungarian and German.  We have certain foods we traditionally make from those cultures.  Where would we be without spaghetti and tortillas and brats? I am so grateful to my neighbors for sharing thier amazing food traditions and for warning me not to put too much of the red sauce on my fajitas.  I was already afraid.  LOL

And this is my kid

Aside from amazing food they were incredibly welcoming and it was so much fun to see a big family celebrate together.   They had all these games and kids running around and it reminded me of my family life when I was a kid and we would go to Thanksgiving at my Aunt Peg and Uncle Walter's. Families are awesome!

Getting ready for the egg toss

Oh and my big and little kid had a great time!

Somehow the egg broke all over hubs face. LOL

I feel so blessed to have been able to spend the holiday with new neighbors and learn so much!   I am so grateful for my family and the fact we are all healthy and things are going pretty well.  I am blessed with just a bunch of positive and I focusing on the blessings.   It is so easy to get bogged down with the trials of life but my hubs looked at me the other day and said something about how things are going in the right direction lately and I said that yes, we are finally getting things in place.  When you sell a house, marry, and buy a house in a month it takes a while to feel at peace.  We are 7 months in now and we are finally getting a routine in place and feeling our way in our home.  Is everything perfect?  No!  He would have rather I spent Saturday night unpacking and tossing stuff out of boxes in the spare bedroom than refinishing that table, I am sure.   I, on the other hand, prefer having things around me look pretty so I can then focus on the hidden fugly! :)

Apparently 3 legs are not better than 2

Did I forget to mention the neighbors invited us to go with them to Monterey?   They are from there and go often and they couldn't believe I have never been to Mexico so they want take hubs and me and show off Mexico.  We are totally on board with this.  It sounds like so much fun!  

This week is full of softball with the kiddo, me picking up a fantastic new project to redo when I finish my table (it's a surprise),  Rangers home opener for me Friday and it looks like the Duck Commander 500 is happening Saturday.   This will be my 1st NASCAR and I am so excited.  First of all, I love Duck Dynasty.   Second, I love Jeff Gordon and it is his last  year.    OMG!  

Happy Opening Day to all my Texas Rangers fans.   

So, how was your Easter?  Did you receive any blessings?

What I'm Loving and Have a Pinteresting Wednesday

Link up below 

It's Wednesday again!  I love this blog hop because it's so fun. 

What I am loving:

-Friend and Family time: 

Not only did I get to hang out with friends  on Saturday but I got to see my nephew and two of my triplet nieces Sunday.  The third was in Houston for a volleyball tourney.  My step-daughter and I hung out at softball practice and had a great time.  I love seeing the kiddos getting along. 

-Mckinney, Tx:

It is constantly in the top 10 of the best place to live in the US.   When I lived in other places nearby I didn't get it.  I do now. There is so much to do and so much always going on.  Last weekend was Mckinney Trade Days and Old Red Lumbaryard (ORLY) Sale.  I only made it to ORLY and plan to make it to Trade Days next month but it is just so fun to have the options and the Old Doentown area is so vibrant and alive with shops and cafes.   I can't get over how small it feels at times, right in the DFW metroplex. 

-Craft time with my step-daughter: 

She had a craft project for me,   This was all her idea so I was just along for the ride.

We made plastic bowls!  They turned out really cute.  

Speaking of my step-daughter she "made" me redo her bathroom countertops.  Kind glad she did. It looks really great and now I want to frame the mirror to give it a finished feel.    

What I am pinning:

Source

I have made several of the potato receipes on my potato board and I think these fries are the next try.  They are baked, not fried! Healthy is always better.  I love sweet potato fries but my family won't eat them so I am constantly looking for ways to make white potatoes a little better for you.

source

I love this and it is made from old pallets.  It is way beyond my carpentry skills which are just short of  "Hello, this is a nail and I can hit it with a hammer".....but I am going to try and make something with some pallets so stay tuned.

source

I actually think with my hubby's help I might be able to pull this off and I would love to do this for our family room.  

We decided to start the carpet removal in family room first because it has concrete floors so we are putting a totally new surface in that room.   Because it is the room with the dog door and the feel of it is much more rustic, we aren't going to try and match anything, we are going with different floors altogether. We can get away with this because the room is on a different level from the rest of the house.  It is an addition, a converted garage and therefore, you have to step down into it.  We are thinking of something along these lines:

source

I love the rustic feel, we just have to agree on what we want to put on the floor, since it is going to be the room that gets the most use and the washer and dryer and the garage are both off this room as well as one of the doors to the outside deck.   I love this idea of starting in this room, my husbands not mine.  I have a thought that once this room is done, I will feel better because there will be at least one finished room in the house!

So what are you loving and pinning this week?

Thankful Thursday: All you need is Love: My Valentines Blog

Because Valentines Day is Saturday I thought I should do a Thankful Thursday Valentines Day edition today and share the love that I am thankful for.   Love comes in many forms and from many people in your life.  I am sure if you look around and really think about it, you will be amazed at just how many people you are truly thankful to give and receive love from.  These are just a few of my loves:

He hates that I flash our wedding photos

I am thankful for my husband who is super supportive and loves me with his whole heart. He is the smile on my face. I love coming home at night to his goofy grin.  It's nice to have someone there to help shoulder the load and who has your back.  He drives me crazy, don't get me wrong but he is worth the nuts.  He puts up with me and encourages me and he lets me have too many irons in the fire and he doesn't mind my own personal brand of crazy too much.  Every once in a while he even surprises me.  I can't express in words how much he means to me.  He gave up his hunting weekend this weekend to let me go to a trade and junk show.  Now that is love! 

My mom walked me down the aisle

I am thankful for my mother who worked her bottom off being a single parent to give her kids everything they needed and most things they wanted.  She is brave and honest and she taught her kids to always be truthful and true to themselves.  She gave us wings and she gave us strenth.  She gave us freedom to make mistakes and the ability to make choices.  She never pushed too hard but never boxed us in either.  She was honest with us when she needed to be and told me flat out "you are never going to be a singer so channel your efforts somewhere else, honey" which I am grateful for after watching some really sad audition episodes of American Idol. 

Blessed with an abundance of kids in my life!

I am thankful for the kids in my life who make me grow and love they give me. They teach me to approach life with a sense of humor and to never take things too seriously. They make me laugh and they bless me in so many ways.  They make me worry for their future, each in a little different and unique way and they give me hope.  They have their own special sweetness, hurt, anger, pain, pesonality, good qualities, bad traits (some that need to be squashed) and they are the lights of my life.

Brother and Sister (in-law)

I am thankful for my brother and sister-in-law who raise six kids and I still don't know how they do it. They manage to fit more in during one 24 hour period than most people do all week.  My sister-in-law, Sandie is the best.  She is an amazing woman of God and I could not ask for a better roll model for my nieces and nephew or a wife for my brother.  She is a nurse, an angel, and she puts up with him which makes her a saint.  :) 

Trish was my maid of honor 

Shanna was my honorary Best Woman

I am thankful for girl friends who are there when I need girl time because as much as I love my husband he just doesn't care about hair, handbags, or shoes. Sometimes you just need your girls and I love spending time with mine. I have been especially lucky this week to spend time with Shanna, Robin, Debbie, Jan, Trish, Sharon and I still have Cinnamon and Michelle coming up Saturday.

I can't forget my fur babies Ries and Sadie!  They are the biggest hams and the goofiest dogs but my life wouldn't be half as fun without them and if push came to shove, Joe would tell you he loves them too...if you really held a gun to his head and made him. 

There is a special group on Twitter who makes my life crazy insane fun and I love them in a only can it happen on Twitter sort of way.  They know who they are. 

There are a whole host of people at work who I adore who make me laugh on a daily basis.  I take them for granted and sometimes, I don't even think about them. Sometimes, I forget about some of them for days and weeks on end.  The mail clerks who get the mail to our office everday.  The office assistant who makes sure to log all our work and send all the annoying emails.  The human resource personel who we never see unless we need them but boy when we need them they better be there.  Don't forget about the janitor who always seems to be cleaning the bathroom right at the moment I have to go really, really bad!  Life would go on without them all but there will be a little bitty whole in my heart where they once stood, even the janitor with the amazing timing.  I am thankful for all of these people too.   

Finally, I am amazingly thankful for you all!  Every single one of you who takes 3 minutes out of your day to read the ramblings of my mind!  You are wonderful!  Happy Valentines day! 

In the beginning: The start of the start, the good, the bad, and the nasty

Just in time for Valentine's Day, a love story.   Okay, truth be told, when I was single, I hated these things.  I hated Valentine's Day too.  It seemed to me like it was just a reminder that I was a failure in the relationship department.   To be honest, now that I am married, I realize so much more about why I am better for having been single forever. Not to mention, if my husband and I had met in our 20's we would not have fallen in love with one another.  We just wouldn't have.  He was not my 20-something self's cup of tea. So before I give you all the  beautiful, wonderful, amazing,  totally mushy details of my love story, let me start with the ugly truth.


Background:

My love life, when I met my husband was on life support.  Actually, to say that I even cared would be giving way too much credit to the place I was mentally at the time we met.   I had given up on love.

You see, I had just come out of a terrible experience.  I won't call it a relationship because what it actually was is a toxic friendship trying to be a relationship.   I met the guy before my husband on Twitter.   I know, I know, don't date guys you meet on Twitter. (I met my husband on Twitter too so I didn't learn!).   The guy before, GB for short, was everything I thought I wanted and nothing I needed.  He was a huge Rangers fan, sort of technically inclined, had a smart a@@ sense of humor, which I find attractive for some stupid reason, and best of all he liked me.   I wasn't very fond of myself at the time so it seemed like a perfect situation.  He and I didn't meet until we had been communicating for months and months and months.   We finally met at a baseball game and I was smitten.  It helped that he seemed to like me because this made it much easier to make excuses for his bad behavior.  There was a LOT of bad behavior.

We will start with the fact that after he and I had been together a few times, he finally confessed, admitted,  told me the truth,  that he may not actually be divorced.  This admission only came after I actually asked, by the way.   Not divorced when all over the internet he was saying his "ex-wife"?  This completely confused me.  Apparently, he didn't know if he was or wasn't.....divorced.   Um, okay.   Somehow, I made excuses for that.  I should have run.  I would have run if I had more self confidence but...I didn't.  Then came the night he got mad at me in a bar and left me without saying goodbye because "I was ignoring him". (I had come with my friend Trish so at LEAST he didn't leave me stranded!)  Next came the fact that he stood me up, not once, but twice, at the ballpark.  Once when I had a free ticket for him (his B-day present) and once when he asked to be invited to a tailgate and then didn't show up. He was at the tailgate game, he just couldn't be bothered to come say hi.   At this point, I was pretty much done.   I barely talked to him on Twitter and was so confused about how a man who stood in my house complaining about his wife/ex-wife and how she was begging him to get back together with him...but he didn't want to and was afraid to tell her.... but when he saw himself married in the future, he saw himself married to me, (yes, I fell for that line of BS) could treat me like last nights left overs.   Oh but that wasn't the end.   Next came him sending me messages asking to meet up with my friends and myself to mountain bike together.   I wasn't rushing in to that because I figured, he had played me pretty well at that point and I wasn't really too trusting.  Good choice.   Eventually he got kind of quiet and wasn't sending me text message and there was a good reason.  It seems, he 'accidentally' got someone else pregnant.

I was crushed.  I cried.  I died a little. I lost all trust of men.  I lost all faith in love and relationships.  I lost all faith in myself to know a good man when I saw one. I became depressed.  I wanted to die.  I wanted to stop feeling. I went to a therapist.  I put my friends through hell.  I would burst into tears for nothing, I complained, I was self involved, I wasn't a very good friend because I was so wrapped up in my broken heart.  I shut down for basically 8 months...right up until the moment the kid was born.  When the baby came I sent GB a message congratulating him.  (We were still friends on Facebook and Twitter at that time and I was trying to be nice)  He sent me a message back telling me how afraid he was and how this isn't what he wanted but he was trying to do the right thing and blah, blah, blah.  I just didn't care.

My Hubs:

While all of that was going on with me, my husband was ending a very complicated 19 year relationship and marriage.   Complicated doesn't even begin to explain it.  His now ex had asked him for a divorce a year and a half before, they tried counseling, they failed.   They had agreed to file for divorce but due to his ex-wife's medical issues, they agreed to wait until she was released from the hospital.   To say they didn't like each other by that point, would be the understatement of the century.  He was actually dealing with a ton of guilt for leaving a disabled wife even though she is the one who wanted the divorce. He was also worried about his child.  He needed a friend.

The meeting:

I met my future husband, J, on Aug. 8, 2013.  We had talked on the phone for about a week before we met.  We had tweeted back and forth with some other friends for a few weeks prior to that.   My birthday was August 5th and when I met my mom for lunch that day she asked me if there was anyone new in my life.   My exact response to her was "There is this guy who I am talking to but he is just now divorcing so he is just a friend. He is funny but  I don't need that complication."   Famous. Last. Words.  

Our first meeting was lunch at Chik-fil-a.   You know that whole "Have your marriage at the first place you met" thing?  Yep, my marriage would have been full of cows and chicken mini's.   We talked, We laughed, We made goo-goo eyes at the adorable baby sitting next to us.  I liked him.  He made me smile.  I hadn't smiled in months.  He had a good heart.  He was kind.  He was honest and told me exactly everything that was going on in his life.  He was funny in that...He is so goofy you can't help but laugh at him sort of way.  (No really! He has this litany of stupid jokes he tells everyone about 5 minutes after meeting them and he won't stop no matter how much I beg him!)  He wasn't what I wanted.  I didn't want a hunter, gun owner, fisherman.  That was exactly my brother.  He was a Cowboys fan not a Rangers fan.  I mean, that is insane.  I had season tickets for crying out loud...to the Texas Rangers.   He wasn't at all right for me. Right? Maybe not. He was kind of cute and sweet.  He held my door.  He was almost a gentleman.

And then I freaked out.  He called me that night or the next, I don't remember, and told me we really need to be friends.  I told him fine because I wasn't over GB.  This annoyed him.  I was already annoyed because I felt like he was ditching me and I didn't even want a relationship with him...because he wasn't divorced yet.

The next day he called and asked me to meet him for dinner, to talk, at a biker bar.   How charming he is.  I did.  From that point on, we kind of just clicked.   We became friends.  Then he took me to see his recreational land.  It was hot, dirty, and while he was talking about how much he loved that place and how he didn't want to lose it in his divorce, I was thinking to myself, "Oh my GOD, I could fall for this guy.  He reminds me of my grandfathers".   He says that is when I fell in love with him.  I tell him it is more like when I realized I had a mad crush on him.  After that, we were just there for each other.   Okay, he was going through way more than I was but he did things for me on the rare occasion when we got a chance to see each other....(NO! I don't mean those kind of things.)  I mean he fixed things at my house.   If cooking is the way to a man's heart then fixing things is a really good start on hooking a woman!

Friends, Divorce, and Family:

Because I had put my friends through so much with GB, I decided to not share with them the things going on with J and myself.   This turned out to be a mistake with some of them.   See, I was on thin ice with them relationship wise because they pretty much hated that I let GB walk all over me, they hated GB for pulling the crap he did, and they lost all faith in my ability to make any decisions where men were concerned.   To them, there was very little difference between GB and J.

In the meantime, J and I were going through some craziness.  You think dating is hard?  Date someone who is going through a divorce and custody fight.  At different points in our getting-to-know each other, I was sure his ex was actually going to murder him.  I didn't have any guilt in our relationship because I knew that I had nothing to do with his marriage breaking up and because that marriage seemed pretty darn toxic, to me. People grow apart. It happens.

And then, when the divorce was almost final, he needed a place to stay.   I offered my house.   Yep, there is nothing about moving slow that I ever actually believed in.   When I told my friends our plan, three of them let me know in very clear terms they did not approve.   Two were diplomatic about it.  One told me I was going to hell for, well for a lot of things: Dating a married man, not waiting until the divorce was final, living with someone.  I don't really know what all I am going to hell for, exactly.  The way to get me to see your point  is not to start telling me that you know God is sending me to hell.  I didn't take that well.  I said a BUNCH of nasty things and then told this friend we were not friends anymore.   The thing is, in the process, I lost the other two friends too.   I cried, a lot.  I beat myself up for everything, even though deep down, I felt like my friends were wrong for casting judgement on J, who they had never met,  wrong for trying to make me choose between J and them and just plain wrong about our relationship, which they didn't know much about. I loved these people and I felt betrayed.  (I still love them, I don't feel betrayed anymore, I just try not to feel anything where they are concerned. The hurt is still there but it is what it is.  The friendships were never repaired.)

Next came meeting the families and the friends who stood by me.   Mom loved J.   My friend Trish and her (now) husband loved him. My brother and sister-in-law loved him.  My nephews and nieces loved him.  My friend Alaina loved him. My friend Jan loved him.  Actually, almost everyone who knows J, loves his grumpy, silly, goofy self.   I met his daughter on Thanksgiving.  My step-daughter was the big challenge for me.  He had it in his head that she had to like me or we had to break up.  No pressure there.  Luckily for me, my step-daughter loved me from the start and after knowing me a month, she started asking when her dad and I were getting married.  LOL!  He had been divorce about 2 months and we hadn't even told her we were dating.   She is a smart cookie.

(Next week....the proposal, AW!)


Question:
How did you meet your boyfriend, best friend, or spouse?   Was it totally romantic or like me, just a total fluke?

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop!

For those of you new to my blog, I decided in December to make Thursday a blog about being Thankful.  I decided to go ahead and create a Blog Hop so if you love the idea of sharing what you are thankful for grab my button and link up below.  If anyone wants to co-sponsor this link, I am totally willing to share the love and thankfulness.  Send me a note and we can talk! I didn't really tell anyone or promote this so I am leaving this hop open until Tuesday if anyone wants to join in.  Also, I intend to make this a weekly post even if I am the only one posting! :)  I hope someone joins in however....or a lot of someones.  

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Here are the things I am super thankful for this week: 

My marriage.  

Don't misunderstand me, marriage is hard work.  Learning to be married has been a struggle for me and for him? Well, I can't answer for him but we are constantly working on being calmer together.  We have been married 4 months but sometimes it feels like years. My hubby isn't romantic but every once in a while the sweetest things come out of his mouth that make me feel so good about myself.  I'm so thankful he came into my life. 

Answered prayers.  

God has been working overtime.  That's all I really want to say. 

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My time being single:

You know the funny thing? When I was single all I wanted to be was married.  When I was single I thought being single meant something was wrong with me.  Now I look back at my single time and realize it was a gift of many years.   I didn't have to figure out who I was outside of my marriage because I already knew.  I have untapped strength because of all those years of doing for myself.  

Laughter: 

I am so very thankful for the ability to laugh and to make others laugh.  With laughter comes healing, comfort, and shared joy. 

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My failed relationships: 

I am so thankful they failed.  When I look back on them, I see so many things that were wrong.  I see people who didn't deserve to have me in their lives.  When I look back I see a me that was emotionally unhealthy and sometimes weak.  I am thankful for the failure that made me stronger and the pain that forced me to grow and become a better person.  

My readers: 

Honestly I don't know who most of you are and what your motivation for reading the wild rambling and insights from a ginger-mind but I thank you for stopping by everyday and for following me.  I especially appreciate my followers so please feel free to go and follow me via bloglovin or email!  (How's that for a pitch?) 

Okay here are some less serious things I am thankful for: 

Cheese: 

Oh how I miss you!  Cheese you are gooey and delicious grilled, on pizza and tacos.  You add that little joy to the world.  I just wish you didn't also add that little pudge to the gut! 

It works

My workout machine: 

The lady that owned the house before us left it for me.  Yes the little meter is tied on because the hook on the back is broken but it works and I love it! I can workout and spend time with the family.  Well, ok if they want to watch my bottom wiggling, they spend time. ;) 

Fruit ice: 

This stuff has saved me.  Water, fruit, and ice.  It's kind of like ice cream but good for you.  

Coffee:

Oh this is a daily thanks moment.  If you missed my obsession, I think this is the second or third time this week I mention coffee. 

This is heaven 

It's almost time:

Baseball Spring Training starts in less than a month!  I live for baseball...okay, I use to live for it.  I just can't wait for it now. 

My blog:

I am really thankful for the outlet and I am devoting 2015 to becoming a better, more positive blogger.  I have made some awesome friends through blogging and I have been listening and reading and doing a bunch of research on just how to be a productive blogger.   There will be many changes to the blog in 2015 but my focus will always be sharing experiences of life and lots of DIY!

Okay, that's it.  What are you thankful for?   What are the big and little things that matter most in your life?

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