The buck stops here

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I was watching a story on how ISIS became a threat (CNN) and they had a quote from President Obama from about 7 years ago where he called ISIS the JV team dressed up in Lakers uniforms pretending to be Kobe Bryant.   Move forward about 5 years and in an interview he is asked if he underestimated their power.   President Obama spends a good flustered moment trying to blame his National Security Advisers for giving him bad intelligence.  

No, Harry S. Truman you are NOT, Barrack.  It hit me like a sucker punch at that moment, the biggest problem with this President is the same problem in society. Lack of accountability and responsibility.   

Obama blames the other guy.  In this case, bad intelligence even though his retired advisers indicate he failed to properly address their warnings at the time.  Everyone in bad situations seems to have taken an "it's not my fault" pill.  Nobody is at fault for their actions or decisions because someone made them do it. 

"It's not my fault, the cop was bullying me." 

"It's not my fault, I was abused as a child and I killed/rapped someone." 

"It's not my fault, I had a bad day at work." 

"It's not my fault, I grew up in the ghetto." 

"It's not my fault, the ______ man is caused this." (Insert any race you want here.) 

"It's not my fault, look at the mess the world is in." 

"It's not my fault.." has become the rallying cry of a generation of Americans to misbehave and break the law.  It has become the excuse of rapist and murders.   It is the reason people protest the unfair circumstances and bigotry they experience while become hateful bigots themselves.  It is the excuse that seemingly absolved everyone of everything.   It is as if these bad things are unique or special.  The problem is we ALL have things in life that happen to us that are not fair or right and we don't all seek to blame society for robbing a store or beating up a cop or getting hooked on drugs.  

Let's step back a moment and examine Ben Carson who grew up in the ghetto of Detroit with a single mother and a missing father.  His friends were in gangs, a lot were on drugs and many died young.  By societies standards, if Dr. Carson had gone that way, it wouldn't be his fault.  He didn't go that way however because he had a mother who believed in him and he found belief in himself.  It is his fault that he went to college and medical school.  It is his fault that he became a successful surgeon and head of neurosurgery at John Hopkins.  It is his fault that he has scholarship programs set up for inner city kids.  It is his fault that he is a successful author.  It is his fault that he is now running for POTUS.  It is exactly his fault that he is the honorable man that he is today.   This isn't a pitch for his campaign, just a reality check.  Dr Carson had a choice and he chose to go the path less traveled.  He chose to pull himself up by the bootstraps and overcome.  He chose education.  

But that's not society.   Everyone today wants something for nothing.   Free money and a free ride. People just don't seem to understand, nothing is free, even freedom itself.  There is no free in life. Everything requires sacrifice.  Everyone pays a price. 

Do you know how many friends have told me their son isn't going to college because he aspires to be the next great white rapper?   Reality check, aside from Eminem is there a decent white rapper?  (I don't listen to that kind of music but my husband does and I couldn't tell you a soul.)  I don't know much about rap music once Slim Shady and Vanilla Ice are removed from the equation but it seems to me the theme is about inequality, unfairness, and of course women.  Now, tell me what an 18 year old white boy from a middle class area knows about that stuff (girls aren't women, BTW).  These boys all end up bartenders and waiters because nobody is going to buy a record about the hard life in Allen, TX. 

We have problems.  There are bigots running wild in all the races and inflaming hate.  There are people who need jobs and hope.  There is rampant drug abuse.  Women are becoming victims of sexual violence in places they should be safe; home and school in record numbers.   Domestic and foreign terrorism is frightening and real.  All of these problems result in a lack of hope for the future and for the next generations.  

We need hope and we need people to stop making excuses.   We all have a sad story, trauma, struggle, but not all of us give in to the pain. Some of us said "The buck stops here.  I have a choice.  I can let this beat me or I can rise above.  I can take the easy way or the hard road.  I can be a victim or I can make something of myself."  Will it be easy? Nope.  Will it be worth it?  Yes!  

God gave us life and then He gave us free will.  We can live in denial and blame our circumstances, friends, parents, teachers, police,  or someone who hates us because of our race.  Heck, we can even blame our National Security Advisers if we want to, but the truth is,  we have the choice. We have free will.  We are not all victims and it does a disservice to all actual victims who find a way to rise above when anyone blames bad behavior on victimization.  

Americans need to grow up.  Americans need to take responsibility.  Americans need to stop blaming others.  It can start with the President admitting he screwed up with ISIS and race relations and discounting the military and police.  It should start there.  Harry Truman would do it.  Barrack Obama never will.  

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I can't help thinking about Sept. 11 when I look at this country today.   Do you remember Sept. 11? Do you remember how this country came together?  Do you remember seeing American Flags flying in all the neighborhoods, shops, and city streets?   Do you remember how we came together?  Do you remember the Fire Engines flying flags and how people applauded when they saw firemen, police, and military personnel?  Do you remember how we were united?  Do you?   

This country is more divided than I can recall in my 45 years.   History will tell us that things like Pearl Harbor and 9-11 bring us together.  We have a sense of pride and patriotism.  We, as a nation, refuse to surrender.  If we are attacked again what will happen?  Do you know?  I can't even fathom right now this nation pulling together as fractured as it seems.   I can't imagine the catastrophic event that would be required to shake this country up and make us understand again that United we STAND but divided we FALL.  We are simply, that divided.   

Yes, I blame the President for a lot of these problems.  In the history of the USA, nobody has had the chance to UNITED this country the way Mr. Obama has.  Nobody has ever had the ability to stand in the middle between the Caucasian race and the African American race and say, I am you.  Nobody has had the unique circumstance of being both before.  Nobody has ever had that chance and nobody has ever failed as miserably as Obama.   

I wish I could see into the future and know what is to come.  I wish I could say "it will be okay."  I wish there was an easy answer, a quick fix, and a better understanding of how to heal.   The truth is, nobody in the forefront of our problems has a clue what to do and this, more than ISIS, is the worst threat facing the US today.   This will be our greatest victory in history or our most catastrophic collapse.   This, more so than any moment in the past from the signing of the Declaration of Independence to the fall of the Twin Towers, will be our day of reckoning.  

But first we have to take responsibility for ourselves.   First we have to remember we are ALL Americans.  First we have to accept that there is only one race of people in this country, the American Race.  First we have to become color blind and see individuals.  First we have to stop making excuses.  First we have to accept that injustice happens to everyone, everywhere. First we have to understand that LIFE is NEVER FAIR.   First we have to stand up and say "It is my fault and I will do better."  First we have to be adults. 

*I know this is a strange pre-Thanksgiving Day post.  I did not intend to write another blog this week. I am praying for this country in a way I never have before.  I ask that if you pray, you pray for the USA too.   If you don't pray, I ask you to consider starting now.   This will be my final wish tomorrow before I thank GOD that we are at peace, for now. 

I believe....

It seems like lately whenever I turn on the news, there are so many bad things happening that it is easy to get lost in the negative.   So today I am doing something different.  I am doing an I Believe post and putting it all out there.

I believe: 

-In God and that He is in control.  We worry too much about things we can't control and we need to have more faith that He has this.

-That religion is not the same as faith.  I have a Christian religion but it does not define my faith.  More terrible things are done hiding behind religion than probably anything else in the world.  Sometimes religion is wrong and sometimes people use the Bible, Koran, ect as an excuse to act and behave in a hateful way.  That is not about faith that is about inhumanity.

-In the United States of America.   I see a lot of posts on my Facebook (and ignore them) about how nothing has changed since the 1960's.  I don't know what country these folks live in but everything has changed.  There is an African American first family.  We are more aware of individual freedom and rights to choose their path. People are coming out more and more and discussing topics we never would have discussed like being Gay, Lesbian, and transexual.   Alcohol, tobacco, and drugs are completely different.  There are warning lables on cigarettes and alcohol and they have legalized marijuana in some states.  We are fighting wars with terrorists who play by no rules.  This country isn't perfect, it is a work in progress but it is a great country.  Work to change what isn't working and stop making excuses for other people's bad or criminal behavior.

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-That love is too hard to find to define it for someone else.   I don't pretend to know everything but if two people who love each other want to marry, regardless of my religious beliefs, I am nobody to stand in their way.   Let them marry and let God deal with the rest.  It isn't my business.

-In the designated hitter.  I hate watching pitchers bat and even though watching Shin Soo Choo right now is about like watching a pitcher hit, I would still rather have the DH than deal with National League Baseball.

-That STRESS kills.   This morning I walked into work and had already delt with more stressfull situations than I will probably deal with all day.   Finding a way to relieve stress is huge.  I paint.  Figure out what  your thing is and do it.

-That people drive like crap.   Cars are not islands.  People should try to be polite behind the wheel because people die when you are careless and stupid.  Texting, alcohol and speed are the main reasons behind accidents today.  I am terrible about putting the phone down but I am going to try to get better.   Everyone should.

-That there are way more good, honest, non-racist police officers in this world than there are bad cops.  These men and women put their lives on the line everyday (and some die) for average citizens of all kind.  This country would fall apart without those willing to sacrafice.  Labeling all police as bad is a very dangerous and broad sweeping bit of ignorance.

-That the media in this country is ridiculous.  They seem to enjoy showing only the worst side of humanity and do everything possible to flame the fires.   The media has a responsiblity to report everything fairly.  If you are going to report every single bad thing that happens from the worst possible light then you are irresponsible and inciting riots.

-That if you are going to break the law you deserve to go to jail.  Being angry at the world is not an excuse to break the law.  Feeling like you deserve more than someone else is not an excuse to break the law.  The world doesn't owe you anything.  You got life and you get the choice to do with it what you will.  If you do the crime expect to do the time.

-In individual responsibility.   Make changes not excuses.  If you want to change the system you must work within the system.  Excuses and pity are going to get you exactly what you have.  If you want or need to change, then work to change.  If your situation is not a positve then work to make it better.  We all have our own struggles, nobody is unique in this.  You can pick yourself up and fix yourself or you can stop living.

-in being there for people who have been there for you.

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-In cutting ties with toxic people.  Some people do not deserve to be in my life.  For those people, I have no time or energy left.  I make no excuses for their bad behavior and I owe them no apologies.  I simply don't care to deal with their drama, selfishness, and self pity.

-That step-parents are overlooked and unappreciated members of a family unit.  We deal with all of the same problems as a birth parent but the respect and appreciation is half.  I love my (step) daughter the same as I would if I had been her birth parent and I worry and want the best for her.  The responsibility is something I took on as part of marrying her father.   Nobody gets to define me as "not a parent" because I didn't give birth to her.   I am a parent, I just got there a little late. 

-I believe in planting trees, composting, and  growing your own food.  Taking care of your little piece of earth is an important part of being responsible. 

Finally, I believe that politics suck and no party is right.  I believe politicians lie and are out of touch.  I believe that it is up to all of us to work to make OUR communities better and stop expecting the politicians to change our county.

Being a Grown-up: It had to happen someday

Lately I have realized exactly what a strong and amazing woman I have become. I'm not tooting my own horn. Most of the credit goes to my mother who raised me after my father's death with the help and guidance of her parents, his, some great teachers and later the support of my step-father. Kudos to the small village it took to give me the solid values that made me responsible and only semi-goofy.

We all have baggage and we all face opportunities in life that determine our future. I have some major faults. In no particular order:

-I am too sensitive. For years I have been afraid to open myself to love because I thought people who I loved will leave me. My father did. Friends seemed to leave, lord knows guys always did....until now.

-Making bad choices to stay safe was the story of my life. I went to talk to a therapist in the spring of 2013 because I knew that I was subconsciously doing this to make myself impossible to love. She told me I wasn't crazy and the problem was only that I was too willing to accept lazy men.

-Procrastination:
Oh I can find 20 things I want to do more than anything I have to do but luckily I have a nag at home who pushes me to do the stuff that needs to get done. It drives me crazy but it is probably a good thing.

That's just a few faults but here are some of the strengths I have lately noticed in myself and I am very proud of these.

-I am not afraid to take responsibility for myself and others. Sometimes the responsibility is huge. Loving someone, sometimes comes with small packages that are a lifetime responsibility. I love these little responsibility and I am embracing the challenge. More, I am looking at the future and making sure that I think ahead to so we do what we can today to make sure and plan for the future.

-Being realistic. I thought for a long time I wanted to adopt but then I looked into the cost of not only adoption but the cost of college education for the future and realized that as much as I love kids, maybe I should just take care of the one that God has given me as a responsibility and help my brother with the six that are his. That seems like enough for one family. I'm not 33 with 35 years until I retire.

-Motivating and comforting people.
The truth is, in my line of business, I have to do it a lot. I am pretty good at it. I am the one people come to with their problems. I am also the problem solver. If there is a problem, people look to me to fix it.

When you grow up, you face big girl problems: Buying a house, selling a house, getting engaged, planning a wedding, being married, having a child, raising a child, paying for college, paying for the unexpected home repair, car repair, and then comes health problems, yours, your parents, your spouse, your child. How you handle these things, how you face these problems, and who you choose to surround yourself with and trust are all part of the growing up and being an adult. Find happy, positive and supportive people who will be there for you and love you through the tough times and who you can love through theirs. I just try to be the best version of me despite my faults and no matter how mad someone who is pushing my buttons may make me. The truth is, the only people that push my buttons anymore push them not because they attack me but because they hurt a child that is important to me. The rest, just don't matter.

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Guns and American's right to arms: the blog I wouldn't write a year ago

If you knew me in real life, you would know that while I am opinionated and stubborn, I am not violent. A year ago I was very anti-gun even though my father owned them and my brother owns them today. That changed when I met and became friends with and later started dating a hunter. No, he didn't brainwash me, he educated me.



What I learned from this hunter was that there are three types of people in this country, those who procure legal guns and are responsible, honest, hard working Americans who like to hunt, fish, and be a part of nature and have a love of nature that is second to none and who are incredibly respectful of fire arms, those that are irresponsible and don't respect the gun (these are the ones who let their teens have access to the weapons that kill other kids in school, for example) and the final group, those who are truly criminal and procure their guns illegally.



Recently, I became a gun owner. This is something I never in my life thought would happen and yet, I have a gun. It's a nice gun. It's a home protection gun. It's not readily available to anyone who enters my home because it is out of harms way. It will not accidentally discharge and it won't be stolen. The kids who come and go in my home have zero chance of accessing this or any weapon. It was a major purchase and the questions they ask before they are legally able to sell you a weapon are both odd and comprehensive.



What I have learned about guns is this, it is not the hunters you need to fear. Every hunter I know is incredibly responsible to the point where, should you see them checking each other's weapons to confirm they are not loaded after a hunt, you would probably think they are anal. They have to be. There are lives at stake. Nobody wants a accident to happen.



No the people you should fear are the people who do not actually respect the gun. I respect it. I respect it to the point I would avoid shooting most of my life, because the 1st time I shot a weapon, at about 8, I got such an kick that I was afraid of the rush. I prefer shooting handguns to rifles and shotguns and I shoot at targets. I do not hunt. I probably won't ever discharge the weapon at a living creature because I am a baby. I don't want to take life. If cornered in the country by a wild hog, however, you bet I will shoot it to protect myself or my loved ones. Because of that, I am going to take a class. Because of that, I will practice shooting. Responsibility comes with gun ownership.



Where the 'system' fails is in controlling the illegal guns and teaching safety and responsibility to legal gun owners. You have to have a license to drive a car but you only need a license for a gun if you plan to carry a concealed weapon. I am not suggesting the federal government require ownership licenses. All legal guns are registered with the ATF. What I am suggesting is gun owners to take an education class. I have to have continuing education every two years to practice insurance but I am not required to learn about my gun. If I didn't have people who shoot, I wouldn't know how to load the gun much less unload it without shooting. I wouldn't have known I wanted a gun with a safety or how to use the safety.





This isn't a political issue, no matter how much Republicans and Democrats try to make it one. There are plenty of gun owning Democrats. I think technically, I am one although I consider myself Independent. There was a statistic I saw recently that the gun owners of the recent school shootings were registered Democrats. This just proves it is a bi-partisan issue.



When you ask yourself where you stand on this issue you should do two things, find a responsible gun owner and go shoot with them. Talk to them about hunting and learn the reasons why the American hunter are needed. As much as I hate this fact, it is a fact. This country is already overrun with wild hogs. If you live in the city you aren't immune you just haven't seen the evidence. I went to the park behind my house with my hunter and he showed me wild pig rubs. In a suburb of Dallas. My neighbor has seen coyotes walking down the street on a weekday morning. About a year ago there was a Bobcat that was found about a mile from my house. My point is, everywhere has wild life and that wildlife is starving slowly and they see your pets as prey. I don't know about you but if something comes at me or my dogs, I want to be able to protect them.



Guns are a part of our history and our future. Everyone has heard "guns don't kill people." That is the truth. What kills people is ignorance. It is time for all gun owners to become educated and all Americans to understand the need for legally controlled fire arms. Unless you want to walk out to your local park, golf course or school and see wild boars taking aim at kids and pets. I have seen these beasts up close and I will pass.



Oh, and the deer. I love them too. They are cute and sweet and beautiful. Hunters don't hate them. They love them. They feed them. I bet you don't feed them if you don't hunt. I didn't until recently. Here is the sad truth, without hunters feeding them they will starve. Deer hunting is strictly controlled (unlike wild hogs because you just can't kill enough to make a dent in the reproduction) and there is a limit everywhere of how many, when, and even how you can kill them. The states regulate tags so that the deer population is maintained however, there must be some hunting allowed. Why? Because deer are wild animals that tend to run out onto highways and cause serious accidents. I have seen at least 2 deer laying on HWY 121 between Lewisville and The Colony in the last 3 months. Sad as it is to think of 'Bambi' life isn't a Disney movie. Reality is, your hunter friend is serving a useful and needed purpose and as much as I hate it too, it is necessary.



Yes, my opinions have changed. My life and my eyes have been opened. I have researched over population and become educated and I have been taught that respecting nature and respecting guns are an important American responsibility. God bless America and our traditions. Now we all should become educated and stop listening to politicians and Hollywood and start listening to our neighbors, friends, and even our brothers and boyfriends. (That hurt to type!)



Simply,

Laura

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Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura