Bullying an American Epidemic

It seems like every time I turn on the TV lately there is someone bullying someone else or being bullied by someone else.   It may be because we are in the middle of an election year like no other and tempers are flaring faster than politicians and fake politicians can pounce on the latest one liner for the headline.  Sadly, I look around and see a nation of bullies from the potential top down.

I realize, hope, pray there are more good, honest, loving Americans in this country than what we see on television but as time marches on, my faith in the people of this country is waning.  Somewhere in the advent of the social media age, it became okay to think whatever you want and say it to people you don't  know.   It became okay to advocate violence and punching people who don't agree with you.   Somehow, in the last decade or two, we have become so desensitized to other people's suffering that we flock to watch videos of people dying online or people being hurt or destroyed by catastrophes and war.  We just don't care.

It is interesting because I have tried to pinpoint when we became a country that was both overly sensitive to silliness and under sensitive to our fellow human beings and I can't come up with the exact cause. When exactly did we become a nation of pissed off asshats?  When did being the biggest jerk on 3 continents make someone the potential leader of the free world?

 America during 9-11 wasn't like this.  Oh, we were already on the ridiculous PC-bandwagon,  but we were not hateful toward our fellow Americans.  We knew that our neighbors, friends, co-workers, and the people we worshiped with, believe in and bought into the American dream.   Even when those towers came down and people were hurt, shocked, and angry, most of us didn't blamed the random Muslim in the streets.   That isn't to say there weren't violent outbreaks because there were.   A crazy person here or there did something horrible.   I like to believe the rest of America was like me and tried to reassure the people who were from the Middle East originally, as best we could that we didn't blame them. A friendly smile and a 'How is your day?' and a 'Thank You' went a long way to bringing us back from the brink of despair and relating to each other as humans.

But the bullying goes beyond a Middle East hate.  Suddenly, our TV is inundated with certain candidates who seem to dislike every culture imaginable including our own.   When did it become okay to bash China, Mexico, Canada, people of other faiths, people of another sex, and/or people of another sexual orientation in public, on TV, and all the while encouraging your supporters to punch people?  When did that become funny?  When did that become acceptable?  When did that become a symbol of leadership in this country?   When did we become so damn angry?   When did we start to hate everyone who wasn't exactly like us?

Worse than that, people from other countries are watching US and believe their opinions of American's as brash, superficial, boasting, arrogant, ignorant, and vulgar are being proven in this election year.   Thanks in large part to a certain candidate who preaches hate in every form and every chance he gets, we are becoming a nation known for lacking culture, civility, and sense.   Sadly, I just look around and feel blessed that I don't have more children to worry about learning the wrong moral compass from the people who should know better, our leaders.

Oh, and don't get me wrong, there aren't any leaders on the other side who are any better.   Our choice is rapidly becoming a choice between two people who lie and take advantage of other human beings for fun.   Believing that any politician and that is what they are, outsiders or not, actually cares about us....well, that is a false hope that died with me when the current president took office.  It just doesn't happen.  Every person in office has their own agenda and at the top of that agenda, is their own personal interests and gain.  

So, what can we do?  What can I do?   Well, the first thing I intend to do is teach every child I come in contact with that this behavior of bullying is unacceptable.   I intend to stress to those kids in my life that getting to know people is the only solution to the problems.  Really getting to know them.   I will do what I have tried to do since I was a teenager (way, way, way back in the horse and buggy days) and that is keep an open mind and heart and be willing to talk reasonably with people from all sides about how we fix things.   Until a time comes when we can all stop being so angry and start communicating, we are going to continue repeating the mistakes of the past and continue bullying one another.

Let me be clear on this, I have lost friends because I refused to listen to them hate on another race, gender, culture, or religion.   I have walked away from people spewing garbage in my presence.  I have been on the receiving end of the hate and I have never turned it back on people.   I have tried to treat everyone exactly the same irregardless of how they treated me.   Don't retaliate, rise above.  That is what I have tried to do my entire life.   Apparently, I am a blast from the past, a person that is becoming extinct, an anomaly.

I believe....

It seems like lately whenever I turn on the news, there are so many bad things happening that it is easy to get lost in the negative.   So today I am doing something different.  I am doing an I Believe post and putting it all out there.

I believe: 

-In God and that He is in control.  We worry too much about things we can't control and we need to have more faith that He has this.

-That religion is not the same as faith.  I have a Christian religion but it does not define my faith.  More terrible things are done hiding behind religion than probably anything else in the world.  Sometimes religion is wrong and sometimes people use the Bible, Koran, ect as an excuse to act and behave in a hateful way.  That is not about faith that is about inhumanity.

-In the United States of America.   I see a lot of posts on my Facebook (and ignore them) about how nothing has changed since the 1960's.  I don't know what country these folks live in but everything has changed.  There is an African American first family.  We are more aware of individual freedom and rights to choose their path. People are coming out more and more and discussing topics we never would have discussed like being Gay, Lesbian, and transexual.   Alcohol, tobacco, and drugs are completely different.  There are warning lables on cigarettes and alcohol and they have legalized marijuana in some states.  We are fighting wars with terrorists who play by no rules.  This country isn't perfect, it is a work in progress but it is a great country.  Work to change what isn't working and stop making excuses for other people's bad or criminal behavior.

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-That love is too hard to find to define it for someone else.   I don't pretend to know everything but if two people who love each other want to marry, regardless of my religious beliefs, I am nobody to stand in their way.   Let them marry and let God deal with the rest.  It isn't my business.

-In the designated hitter.  I hate watching pitchers bat and even though watching Shin Soo Choo right now is about like watching a pitcher hit, I would still rather have the DH than deal with National League Baseball.

-That STRESS kills.   This morning I walked into work and had already delt with more stressfull situations than I will probably deal with all day.   Finding a way to relieve stress is huge.  I paint.  Figure out what  your thing is and do it.

-That people drive like crap.   Cars are not islands.  People should try to be polite behind the wheel because people die when you are careless and stupid.  Texting, alcohol and speed are the main reasons behind accidents today.  I am terrible about putting the phone down but I am going to try to get better.   Everyone should.

-That there are way more good, honest, non-racist police officers in this world than there are bad cops.  These men and women put their lives on the line everyday (and some die) for average citizens of all kind.  This country would fall apart without those willing to sacrafice.  Labeling all police as bad is a very dangerous and broad sweeping bit of ignorance.

-That the media in this country is ridiculous.  They seem to enjoy showing only the worst side of humanity and do everything possible to flame the fires.   The media has a responsiblity to report everything fairly.  If you are going to report every single bad thing that happens from the worst possible light then you are irresponsible and inciting riots.

-That if you are going to break the law you deserve to go to jail.  Being angry at the world is not an excuse to break the law.  Feeling like you deserve more than someone else is not an excuse to break the law.  The world doesn't owe you anything.  You got life and you get the choice to do with it what you will.  If you do the crime expect to do the time.

-In individual responsibility.   Make changes not excuses.  If you want to change the system you must work within the system.  Excuses and pity are going to get you exactly what you have.  If you want or need to change, then work to change.  If your situation is not a positve then work to make it better.  We all have our own struggles, nobody is unique in this.  You can pick yourself up and fix yourself or you can stop living.

-in being there for people who have been there for you.

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-In cutting ties with toxic people.  Some people do not deserve to be in my life.  For those people, I have no time or energy left.  I make no excuses for their bad behavior and I owe them no apologies.  I simply don't care to deal with their drama, selfishness, and self pity.

-That step-parents are overlooked and unappreciated members of a family unit.  We deal with all of the same problems as a birth parent but the respect and appreciation is half.  I love my (step) daughter the same as I would if I had been her birth parent and I worry and want the best for her.  The responsibility is something I took on as part of marrying her father.   Nobody gets to define me as "not a parent" because I didn't give birth to her.   I am a parent, I just got there a little late. 

-I believe in planting trees, composting, and  growing your own food.  Taking care of your little piece of earth is an important part of being responsible. 

Finally, I believe that politics suck and no party is right.  I believe politicians lie and are out of touch.  I believe that it is up to all of us to work to make OUR communities better and stop expecting the politicians to change our county.