Friday, March 30, 2012

Blog Fitness Friday! Saying Goodbye

Today's blog is going to be a little different. I'm not going to go over where I have been during the last week. Today I am going to take a look back at where I came from. This is a very difficult blog to share. If you are reading this it means I didn't chicken out.

You all know by now what I look like today. If you forgot I will share a photo from last weekend.

I still have a ways to go and about half of it is mental. I have a hard time looking at myself. Someone told me the other day I have body distortion. That is probably true. I take these pictures because my friends ask but they are hard for me because I see every flaw. I have been honest about my struggles with food. I have struggled with bulimia since I was 16 and compulsive eating which goes with it. (Bulimics are compulsive eaters who purge. When you quit purging you have a binge eater.)

So let me share a little about the friends in the picture and how/when I met them. Monica and our friend Rachel and I met originally on Twitter. They asked me twice to meet them at the Ballpark before I agreed. I was so worried they would see me and be disappointed that the first time they asked, I told them I didn't see the message. Truthfully, I turned my phone off. I never turn my phone off. In fact, my phone never leaves my side. How I ever lived without a Smart Phone, I do not know. So, you see how nervous I was to meet Rachel & Monica? I turned off my phone for the only time in the last year. Jerry I also met on Twitter. We met in person for the first time in February at a Stars game. Jerry and I had surgery at the same time so we were both bored and we started texting and eventually talking on the phone before we met. The day after we met Jerry called to tell me how nice it was to meet me and my friends. Guess what the first thing I said to him was? "I hope you're not too disappointed in me. I think I come off better on paper, or Twitter". Jerry, being the super nice guy he is, laughed a little and said he was actually thinking I am even better in person! This night in the picture was the first time I actually met his wife, Nancy.

So why is this blog hard? Well aside from the fact that I just shared my inner insecurities that I fight every time I meet new people, I am also sharing a picture that makes me so uncomfortable, sad, and ashamed. This is one of the only photos of me I saved from when I was at my heaviest. I saved this photo for two reasons. One is Elizabeth Taylor, my sweet friend who I lost a few years ago to cancer and who I love and miss dearly. The other reason is my friend Tammy who lives in Colorado and I don't get to see much. This was taken at Halloween about 5 years ago. The giant woman in the photo is me before I started losing weight 3 years ago.

I can't begin to tell you how close I come to tears having to face who I was. That person is gone but I carry that with me in so many ways. I debated a long time yesterday about doing this blog today. I talked with a few friends and they made me realize that I give that picture power over me if I don't face it. For me, fitness is the key and I have to workout at least 5 days a week to keep me solid. That girl in the picture was the ultimate couch potato. Keep moving and keep looking forward. That is all I can do.

Happy weekend gang. 1 week until Opening Day. It is Pudge Rodriguez day! #7!!!!!

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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Blog Update: What I love

What I'm loving Wednesday?

My friends Trish:

Monica (oh and Adam Burish)



It is so good to have friends with great taste in baseball teams (mostly...Lyn has that Yankees thing) who put up with my crap! I can't believe I only met them within the last year! You're the best! Love you Ranger ladies!

I'm loving only 9 days and this place will be rocking again!

I'm loving my Spinach salad from Corner Bakery! Yum!

These coffee mugs! Enough said.

And I am LOVING Lucy here!

Still loving my shirt and hoodie!

Zumba because I intend to dance tonight!

Peyton Manning! What? Like you didn't know.

These boys who play tonight!

Last but never least:

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Blog update Tuesday: Boys Are Stupid & Girls Are Crazy!

Lately when my girlfriends and I get together we seem to spend a lot of time pondering exactly why boys are so stupid. Now clearly we are kidding, mostly. We understand somewhere deep, deep, DEEP down that men aren't really stupid. (I said DEEP down ladies!) We just have different communication styles. Women talk about everything and what they say could mean 10 different things. Men say very little and what they say (from what I understand from male friends because honestly this concept baffles me) is exactly what they mean with absolutely no hidden meaning and nothing more behind it.

Here in lies the problem. When women talk to each other, we have learned somehow to understand the intricate details and meaning behind most of what other women say and what they actually mean. The fact that men say what they mean and mean what they say with nothing more behind it pretty much seems impossible.

My guy friends by the way pretty much all agree, girls a crazy. All I can say to this is that male/female relationships would work so much better with interpreters who understood both sexes and could translate!

Now to be fair to the guys, all these cartoons I have pretty much take the ladies side but most women, if they are honest, would admit you guys have valid points on how annoying we can be. I'm going to let you in on a secret, we annoy ourselves too.

My misunderstandings with men started very young. I am absolutely terrible at figuring out when a guy is interested in me. Honestly, the first two guys who asked me out, I am pretty sure I insulted. In fact, looking back on it now, I was so clueless I am willing to bet the first one thought I was a racist and that I turned him down because he wasn't white. (Love should be color blind.) I told him he wasn't funny when he asked me out. I thought he was being mean. My friends said he was serious and I hurt his feelings. What did he expect walking up to me in the hallway at Richardson Jr. High and telling me how cute I was?

The second guy didn't fare much better. He was getting ready to ship out in the military and he was at an all night pancake house with his friends. No, really! He was very sweet and polite and proper but I assumed he was flirting with me because the wasn't much to chose from at an all night pancake house.

Someone told me recently that all men really want is booty and they get upset when something gets in the way. I think he was teasing me but then again men say what they mean and mean what they say so....

Okay, I haven't solved the battle of the sexes but hopefully I made you laugh at how silly we all are.

Oh, and ladies remember Prince Charming is a lie and doesn't exist. Find someone you can trust, puts up with your shoe shopping, loves the same things you love, especially the sports teams!!!! Priorities Ladies, Priorities!!!!!

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Monday, March 26, 2012

Monday Memories: Otter, Kari, & the Stars and a Biker Bar!

Saturday my friend Monica and I headed to the AAC to see the Dallas Stars take on the Calgary Flames.

Our original seats for the first period.

And the seats right next to the Ice Girls.

We spent a lot of time trying to pretend we weren't on the overhead video board when they took shots of the dancers behind us. (So depressing seeing myself on that big screen but it prepared me for the pictures yet to come where I feel like I look terrible.)

These guys make my blog because they made us laugh. They cut out the entire sides of the shirts so you could 'enjoy' their abs and never took off their sunglasses. We all wished we were that cool. Or something.

We met up with my friend Jerry and his lovely wife Nancy who are huge Stars fans!

Stars win! They always do when we are there!

Stokers Biker Bar was our post game hot spot.

I'm a big biker bar girl. What? WHAT?

Had a hard time deciding which of these patches to get.

So many choices!

In the end I just couldn't decide between the 'Lick Me 'Til I Scream' and the 'Good Girl Gone Bad' patch. Well, something like that, anyway.

Why were we at Stokers? To meet up with some Dallas Stars!

It was Steve Ott's charity event.

Notice he is wearing a black Pesky Stars T and a Black Texas Rangers cap! He was super polite and obviously has great taste in baseball!

My autographed photo. :)

Oh but Otter wasn't the only one there. I spotted this guy and did a happy dance! It was pretty hot out at this point and poor Kari was hot in his suit and in need of a beer. (That's what he said anyway when we got our picture with him.)

Kari Lehtonen baby! It really was pretty hot out. That is why my Stars hoodie was left in the car and all my pictures with the Stars are in a Mavs T from last summer. (Nobody cared but me. I felt a little silly. It was supposed to be a Rangers shirt after all but it was wet.)

We got pictures with Sheldon Souray too!

And Monica was really excited to meet Adam Burish. I have to admit he and Sheldon Souray are pretty easy on the eyes. From behind I was worried. They looked suspiciously like a former Texas Rangers lefty that nobody misses. They were all really nice.

Monica and I had caused all the damage we could in Dallas so we headed up to Denton to meet up with Trish and tear up a second town.

Okay, we may have just hung out with Trish talking baseball and laughing at our music downloaded on our phones after some adult beverages and way too much chips and salsa. By the way guys sing Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" to your lady. Even if you can't sing, it's a good move. (Make sure to get the hair right.)

Happy Monday everyone!
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