Thursday, March 8, 2012

Day 30 When were the happiest days of my life?

Can we start with today because this challenge is over? I have no idea what I will write on any given Thursday next week but I am so very glad it will not require me to talk about my broken heart, lost loved ones, humiliating childhood nicknames or obsession with nail polish.
I think most of the time you are living tends to be happy but you may not always recognize it. When I was at the University of Texas I thought I was miserable. I wanted to be at the University of Notre Dame. I missed home so much and Notre Dame was a dream. Now when I look back I realize what a great time I had. Too great. I should have spent more time in class and less time with my friends at Chuy's and Baby A's. I wasn't wild. I have never been wild, I may be a lot silly but I have never done anything drunk that I truly regretted. (Unfortunately I save that for sober.)
I am really pretty happy right now. I have some awesome old friends, some awesome new friends, and the potential is limitless. There are some things within my life I want to change and I am currently working on them. There are a few things I still need to do like finish school. That is for me. I still beat myself up pretty hard at times about dropping out. The only thing is, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Oh, and just because I spent a lot of time sharing the sadness I have to tell you that my childhood was awesome. All of my childhood. I had a daddy who loved me a lifetimes worth in five years. I had some really special grandparents on both sides, an awesome uncle and a great aunt, a pest of a little brother and the greatest, most amazing, strongest woman God could have given me as a mother. Besides that, I was a kid in the north which means I grew up making snow angels and actual snow men that lasted weeks. I know what good packing snow is, the kind you need for snowballs. The kind Dallas never gets. I know that trees are supposed to change to beautiful, amazing colors in the fall. I know the joy of a pork tenderloin sandwich and Pepsi. I know that happiness can be a picnic in the park in August because it is 88 degrees. I have planted vegetables and watched pigs being born. That happens on farms.
The beauty is, I also know the joy of Tex-Mex and chicken fried steak. I can appreciate the happiness of a 70 degree day in January. I know how amazing a cold beer tastes at Rangers Ballpark in July. Once in a blue moon even I want a Diet Dr. Pepper because it is the Texas thing to do. I sometimes say 'fixin to' & I say 'Y'all' way more than 'You guys'.
Happiness isn't about the place it is about the people. Most of the people I love, like, and need are in Texas. That doesn't mean I couldn't be happy in, say Italy. I am positive a villa in Tuscany would make me very happy but I would have to have MLB TV! :)

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