Saturday, November 30, 2013

Christmas Wish List

This is last Christmas...there was less of me and more Christmas decorations.

Ok so this is a Christmas wish list and I have tried to figure out what I want. The thing is, what I have is so much better than anything I could ask for that I don't know what I want.

I mean, pretty sparkly things are nice. What girl doesn't want Diamonds and perfume and stuff that makes them feel pretty? I don't need that stuff, however.

I don't want cloths. I have a ton and I just need to get back to working out so I can wear them. I don't need workout stuff. My house overflows with that!

I think we all know I don't need shoes or handbags. I mean, I realize Christmas isn't only about what I need but what I want and that is the really hard stuff.

You see, what I want is a lot harder to give.

I want my family to be happy. I want my nieces and nephews to get along and blend with their new siblings. I want the word step-brother to not exist and just be friends and family. I want my brother and new sister in law to be happy and not have meddling ex's. None of those things are likely to fit under a tree.

I want my friends to be happy and know that I love them. Near or far, that I am always on their side and I will always be there for them. They can count on me because I am a good friend and regardless of how far they moved away, I am here to lend them an ear and a hug.

I want my mom's dog to stop running out the front door. She darts out like crazy ever since Mom moved and the street is so busy and the dog is going to get hit. She almost did when I was there yesterday. Scared me. Scared the police officer parked on the corner. We both almost had heart attacks. If anyone had a solution to this, I am all ears!

I want my special someone to know how much better my life has been since he became a part of it. Oh, he is a pain in the bottom but he makes me smile and laugh every single day. I don't know how to thank him for being my sunshine. I wish I could give him the world. I wish I could make all his problems go away. I can't. So I will just listen. My wish for him for Christmas is happiness for him with his sweet family and happiness for all of his extended family. His friends are some of the best people in the world and I already love them like annoying brothers.

Aside from that I want my house to be ready to get listed soon after the New Year and I want the perfect new house to be there when we are ready to make an offer. Nothing too serious to fit under a tree, right? I mean they did it on Miracle on 34th Street!

I want my surgery in the next few weeks to go well and be a huge success because I really believe fixing this problem could help me with a slew of issues I have had basically for years.

So if Santa can fit all that under the tree this year that would be great!!! If not maybe he can just make us all remember this:

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Friday, November 29, 2013

Turkey Day Round-Up & Awesome Family & Friends

These were my contributions to Thanksgiving. Chocolate caramel snickers cheesecake (with a kick) and corn casserole. Both were sent packing with my guy and his entourage as they went off to hunt after a tremendously successful Thanksgiving day!

Here is me with my best friend. My mom always knows the right thing to say to make me feel better and she always knows how to tell me the truth in a way that isn't hurtful or mean. She has always been there and for that, I am grateful beyond words.

My nephew left after dinner with my brother to go hunting so when the men all left it was girls night. I spent the night and got to hang out with 3 of my favorite 10 year olds.

And wake up with them too!

Kinda wake up....

Or not wake up!

Someone stole my phone this morning. Guess who by the perfect selfie while her sisters

Are in the dark! Lol

Finally I want to say something. You know how they always say The Lord works in mysterious ways? I have always really believed that. Sometimes you have to let the dust settle a little to see it. God has made a point this week of showing me how truly blessed I am. I have some truly amazing friends who really care and love me and He reminded me distance, with some of them is not a factor. I have a family that supports me. I have an amazing guy who...does all the little things to show me he loves me and doesn't even know he does it because that is just who he is. He has an amazing family and they seem to like me. My family likes him. Our families like each other. Oh, and man can I make a really GOOD cheesecake! I think I am pretty lucky and very Thankful!

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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Laughing it off!

Sometimes you have to just laugh it off. Today is that day. So as I am reflecting about the many things I am really thankful for this Thanksgiving holiday I have to start with humor.

It's a gift to laugh through the tears. It's a gift to be able to laugh when guy wake up and before you sleep. The best gift God has given me is to surround me with friends (yes, I still have many, many of my own dear friends who love me and know how to make me laugh) family, and a special guy who fill my life with laughter.

Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow is the 1st of what I hope to be many holidays spent together. My little family of 3 has grown quit large over the years and now we are opening the doors for a few more. Last year we opened the doors for my brother's new girlfriend and her kids. That's old hat. They are an old married couple now. This year it's my turn. Man, am I just a bit nervous and excited.

I had the best dream last night. It was a dream of a Happy Thanksgiving with my mother's house full of kids and the kids were having fun and the kids all thought I was the bees knees. ;-)

So find a way to laugh. That's the best advice I can give. When you don't want to, laugh anyway.

Think of me...hunting this way. This is the only way I probably will ever shoot!

Finally, I want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts.

Happy Thanksgiving and if you are braving the crowds Thursday...
you're crazy.

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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Why friends leave? The Other Side of the story

The last two days have been terrible for me. I have lost basically three maybe more friendships because my friends made a decision to "have concerns" over my relationship. They think I am making some kind of mistake and they think I can't handle the truth. That's their side. Here is mine.

I haven't seen most of these friends for a handful of times in the last 7 months. I haven't spent any time with any of them since April, really. That is long before my new relationship started. Some of that is my fault. I was sad and depressed and didn't want to be around anyone. Some of that is because I felt like I was being excluded by them. They would check in at places 5-10 minutes from my house for a "Girls Night Out" of dinner and movies and I wasn't ever invited. 3-4 of them would get together from all over town right down the street from me and I was sitting at home alone. It was really hard not to take that personally. I should have talked to them about it, but I didn't. I have cried more tears over these relationships than just the last 2 days. It goes back months.

Eventually, I started hanging out with other friends more. I started hanging out with other friends one of whom basically introduced me to J, well she and Twitter.

But I digress. My friends were around some. They gave me a wonderful birthday dinner in August and made me feel very special. I will love every one of them for that even though I don't know how to trust several of them, now.

I started dating J the next week. We had some tough issues to work through and because I literally put my friends through HELL the summer before when I was trying to make a bad 'relationship' work, I didn't include them in any of the things we were going through. It was never a matter of picking them over him. I was trying to protect them. I didn't want to drag them down so J and I fought the battle together. It made us really close. We can tell each other anything. We don't always agree and we don't always understand each other but we are learning to communicate pretty well with each other and we truly love each other.

Timing isn't always perfect and when J and I met, he had just ended something. One of my friends confronted me and told me basically, what I was doing was wrong and I should wait and if J and I were truly In love, that shouldn't be a problem, in his opinion. Well, maybe he was right but maybe I was too. I am 43, J is 46. We knew the truth about what was going on and he didn't...because I had shared very little. I felt very judged and I handled it poorly but I tried to reach out to him. I texted him in November. I never heard from him.

Another friend wrote a blog about me. I called her. I invited her to dinner. I tried to talk to her. I thought she understood but lately I got the distinct feeling, I was wrong.

It became clear to me over time that many of our "mutual" friends had begun to treat me differently. Some stopped talking to me on Twitter. Some stopped texting me. A few of our mutual friends reached out to me to tell me they could tell how happy I was with J and that they were happy for me. For that I was really grateful. Sadly, the three friends I was closest to virtually stopped communicating with me, it seemed. I couldn't bring J up without someone's face turning hard or turning away. My friend stopped looking me in the eyes when we talked.

Sadly the worst part of this is, none of these friends ever met him. My mom met him and she loves him. Her comment "I wasn't expecting you to fall in love with someone so much like your brother." My friend Trish and her boyfriend had dinner with us last week and her comment was "He is very entertaining. We liked him." She also added, be careful and don't move too fast...because she is my friend and she cares. My neighbors love J. The rest of my family meets him on Thanksgiving and I will be meeting his family.

I am realistic. I know what I am doing. I am not moving too quickly. I haven't made any mistakes. I haven't done anything that is wrong and J and I are happy. His friends have all met me and they love me and they are thrilled that he has finally met someone that is good to him. I am sad. Really sad, that my friends never gave he and I a CHANCE. The truth is, that was their choice. I tried to make it right. I guess sometimes things can't be fixed.

That's my side. Just know, there are two sides to a story and no side is all right. If you only heard one side, you don't know the truth, obviously. However to say that the reason 3 friends walked out of my life is because they were honest about how they felt about my relationship is naive at best.

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Monday, November 25, 2013

Tuesday Ten Things I learned about Love

I know this is sort of a cheat blog but I had a hard Monday.

Found this yesterday and laughed...chances are this is true!

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Life & Twitter: Hitting the Deactivate Button

I am doing my PSA today! Either get your pie craving under control know the rest!

I made a decision on Friday to hit the deactivate button on my two Twitter accounts. This was a choice I made because since sometime in October Twitter has become a place where I feel a line has been drawn in friendships that maybe don't mean as much as I once thought.

I owe Twitter a lot but when anything starts to bring more stress than joy in life, it is just not worth it. I just want to be happy and not have to defend my life choices to people who should know me better or people who don't know me well enough that they deserve an explanation!

Let me be clear on this one thing. I didn't leave Twitter because I did anything wrong or because I need defending. I did not and I don't! I didn't leave Twitter because I was running away from these "friends" or giving up on the friends who are real. I am not. I left Twitter because these few people are just not worth having any more of my time in my life and because being on Twitter, I can see them. I don't want to ever see them again. There is no place in my life for Judas.

I have said before I am loyal to a fault but when I am done, really done with people, I don't look back. I tried to fix this even though I did NOT break it and I became the joke. Well, I am now ending it. No more punch line Laura.

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Thursday, November 21, 2013

Fabulous Friday, Welcome to the Weekend: Cheddar fries,JFK, Baseball, and

This is officially the first blog coming to you live, live, live from my new laptop.  Try not to get excited.  I am but then again, I am also still trying to figure out Windows 8!
Tuesday night my guy and I went to dinner with my friend Trish and her guy.  It was the first time we did a 'couples' thing.  It was the first time we hung out with my friends.  It was the first time we hung out with anyone without camo being involved.  LOL.  We had a great time.  The night was awesome.  Trish is always a blast to hang out with and it was so relaxing.  I was just happy we could all sit, talk, and eat cheddar fries together and not think...just be.  Sometimes being an adult requires too much thought and not enough relaxing. 
So Wed. I got to spend my day 'off' having a EGD performed.  Thankfully, the procedure was painless.  Unfortunately, I think it totally dried out my throat because it has been a tad scratchy and I have been coughing ever since.  Aside from that, the drugs were good and I remember nothing.  I am perfectly fine, it was just a precaution for an elective procedure I am having later on.  I passed so the procedure is a go...and when it is done, I will look like Reese Witherspoon.   Okay, maybe not.
Does anyone get the greatest ideas for blogs at 3 am but, naturally, being half asleep and totally tired, can't think about writing them?  No?  Just me.  Okay then!
Today is Nov. 22.  If you live under a rock or perhaps, anywhere but Dallas, Texas you may not actually have been hit over the head with this but....President Kennedy was assassinated 50 years ago today.  Dallas is planning a memorial that requires tickets at Dealey Plaza.  The new channels here are broadcasting from 11am-1pm live and on the internet the ceremony.  Every morning all month long there has been some mention of two things on the morning shows here.  Obamacare's total failure and the JFK assassination.   Living in Dallas has been a beating.  Don't get me wrong.  I love JFK.   I was fascinated and completely enthralled with the conspiracy theory when I was a kid.  I spent my teens reading every book I could find.  I knew all the 'Magic Bullet' options from the CIA to Castro.   One day when I was 19, I was sitting at college listening to two girls discuss the subject when it suddenly struck me.  We are never going to know.  We may think we know.  There are people that still argue about who helped John Wilkes Booth with the Lincoln assassination.  The truth is, when you miss the opportunity to question, put on trial, and convict someone, you will never know.  I also realized at that point that JFK, as with anyone who ever lived, from my father to Jesus Himself, should be celebrated for their life.  Ok, maybe with Jesus there is more there but the rest of us are just regular, old, humans.  I guess what I mean is, focus on a person's life not their death.  What they really contributed is the time they spent on earth not the moments they were taken away.
You may have heard about the little trade that the Texas Rangers pulled off Wed. Night.  Ian Kinsler was traded for Prince Fielder.   I like Ian.  I am going to miss him but....this is a good trade for this team.  What amuses me to no end is how much crying over this trade I saw on Twitter.  I will admit that almost 100% of the complaints come from female fans.  I thought it was telling that even on the news Wed. Night the sports broadcaster mentioned that all the people Tweeting him unhappy about the trade were women.   Why?  Oh, I suppose because Ian is cute and he has a nice butt.   It is silly and female and really, very stupid.  I can't begin to explain female fans. I don't even follow those type of fans on Twitter.  I quit a long time ago. I get upset when the team doesn't make a move I think it should make.  I don't get upset if they don't play the cute player because the better player is available.   I don't get upset if they decide not to re-sign their closer (who I do actually think is cute) because they want to give an up and coming pitcher the role.  I hope Tanner can do it.  He is young and he is cost effective.  In the time I have been a Rangers fan, I have seen Pete Obrien, Nolan Ryan, Pudge Rodriguez, Ruben Sierra, Juan Gonzalez, Michael Young, Cliff Lee, Josh Hamilton, Charlie Hough, Sammy Sosa, and a host of other players come and go.  I learned a long time ago that the name on the front of the uniform is the only one that matters. I will miss Ian.  I welcome Prince.  He is a nice piece.  I am not going to cry because his butt isn't as pretty.   His bat is much nicer.

Thursday Thinking: Goulash & Family

My mother's parents were Hungarian-American. My father's were German-American. This means when it came to goulash I had very specific ideas of what it was

The Hungarian definition...a beef and potato stew with thick and rich, bread dipping gravy.

This crap my aunt tried to convince me was goulash one cold Indiana night. My 7 year old self had to set her straight. Goulash doesn't have hamburger or macaroni and it certainly isn't Italian rip off spaghetti! That is nothing but Chili-Mac without the Chili or Spaghetti with macaroni noodles people! I am here to set the world straight.

My grandmother, may she RIP, was an amazing cook. She could do more with what she found in her garden than I can do with $100 in groceries. She lived through the depression and some of her cooking was a reflection. She made a dish called Wilted lettuce salad. Not my favorite but my grandfather loved it. The women in my family, all of us, have one thing in common, from my grandmother to my mother to me. We like to make our men happy by making their stomach happy.

Lately I have become somewhat obsessed with finding traditional Hungarian recipes and have even started a Hungarian board on Pinterest. (Don't look for Grandma's goulash there or her Kifflies, those are for my family but you can find some that are close on there.) Thankfully, Mom has the two most important recipes...the goulash and Kifflies but alas, the Chicken Paprikash is lost to time so it is up to me to try and recreate it as close to the original as possible. I don't know about you but nobody cooks as good as my grandma! (except, ironically enough spaghetti. The woman made terrible spaghetti! I am guessing her American Goulash was terrible too!)

So what kind of family traditions do you have and what food from your childhood do you have to have at the holidays or during certain times of the year???

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Monday, November 18, 2013

Hey Kiddo! Remember the time...

When I was 19 I went into treatment the first time for bulimia and one of the things they taught us is never to forget how to be a kid. I consider myself open to most things once. (That are legal & don't require me hurting anything or eating anything that is slimy or nasty).

One of the things they taught us in treatment is that you are never too old to swing. Tonight my boyfriend and I took a lovely walk in the park and when we got to the playground I walked in and headed right for the swings. Before I knew it we were laughing and climbing and having a great time doing things we would have done together 38 years ago when we both had cooties.

There are so many things you can do together but the ones that have been the best, have been free, under the stars, and involved a lot of laughter. Never underestimate the power of laughter, a swing set, and a pirate ship!!

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Friday, November 15, 2013

It's Friday and I'm in Love

So glad it's Friday!!

So glad!

So ready for the weekend!

To sleep in...even to 7am!

I love Friday so hard right now. Not sure why because honestly I have so much to do this weekend. The guy is going hunting (yes again...he does this all fall.) I am working on the house.
I realized this week when the perfect house went on the market that we need to move this along. This is the second house I have loved and this one even more than the first. Time to fast forward the work and get it done because working all day and coming home and working at night is a beating!

Okay, so honestly I intended this to be a photo dump/Pinterest update blog....yes, I missed the link up...for like 5 months! So without further ado...

If I ever get married...we are dancing to this song!

My guy-friend wraps Sadie in a blanket before bed. Aw!! wrong

And so funny!

So very funny!

So true....both!

Someone thinks I should replace my good glasses with these!! Ah, no!

Just because...bacon!

This was how someone left my jeep one day after Halloween. No, they really Don't ever grow up! XO

Out of the mouths of rednecks...

I am incredibly blessed because this week my lifetime best friend, my Mom, met my new best friend, my guy-friend. I have to say not only did it go really well but they like each other. This was a huge relief because I realize I am 43 but I have never brought anyone to meet Mom before. Ever. Silly??? Probably but it matters to me.

BTW, calling someone your boyfriend/girlfriend when you are in your 40's may not seem silly but it just looks silly writing it. I feel like when I put it in writing I sound like a High School kid!

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