Sunday, July 20, 2014

Weddings: 40-something bride problems

I just have to share this adorable sign that my neighbor gave me. I love it. If you know hunters, you know why. It makes me laugh. I will probably find a way to include it in the reception.

Planning a wedding as a first time bride as 40-something is not how I planned things. The problem is all my original thoughts on this day are 20 years old. I am not the same person who I was at 23. I am better, naturally and I know who I am.

The thing is that as a 43 year old, first time bride some things feel...silly. Silly like registering for gifts. We don't need anything. I mean, we have a toaster and blender. Shoot we have 3 blenders. We have a house (for a few more weeks, anyway) and I have had my own household since I was 19. If we need anything for the new house, it will be from Lowes or Home Depot. We have to find the new house first. (That is a whole other blog for another time.)

Then there is the wedding shower. Everyone keeps asking me about throwing me a shower. I feel silly having a shower. I am not a kid, starting out, with no idea what running a household is about and rose colored glasses on thinking life is going to be perfect. I know life isn't perfect and relationships are work. I feel guilty asking my friends to give me a shower. Okay, I am not asking, they are offering, but you get my point. I feel guilty. I am Catholic so of course, I had to mastered the art of feeling guilty at the tender age of 6. I am a master at it by now.

Ah, and the bachelorette party. I am technically old enough to be someone's mother and grandmother so a crazy night on the town with all my adult girl friends drinking and wearing male protection items on my person...that is NOT going to happen. My idea is a simple night out with the girls. Dinner and maybe combine that with the shower so we don't have two parties. A little Mexican food and music and a night of ladies being a little crazy for old women! Lol

The wedding itself is going to be traditional but simple. When I was 20-something I wanted the huge, church wedding with a everyone we knew invited. Now, I don't care if people outside of family and our good friends show up.

I have a beautiful dress, the second one I tried on, actually ended up being perfect. We have a wonderful venue and the basics have fallen into place relatively easily. Thankfully, the wedding plans haven't been difficult because the energy has all been on the house, getting it ready to sell, going through the sale, and finding a new home. Nightmare city. I almost feel guilty that I am not more focused on the wedding and the plans. I have no time to worry about it and no energy to focus on being excited about it. I get periodically excited and at times I feel like "Oh my gosh, this is really happening! We are getting married." When I tried on dresses I kept saying to my mom and the wedding assistant "I almost feel like a real bride." Or "Wow, I look like a actual bride, for real!" They kept laughing at me. Even the other customers there laughed.

I guess, the thing is, the wedding I planned at 23 would have been very different and the 20 years between that time and now would have worked out much differently if my mister and I had met back in 1993. At times we say to each other, "I met you 20 years too late" but in out hearts we know there is a reason for everything and we can't change the past. There is no guarantee that he and I would have even fallen in love 20 years ago, right?

I would have probably been a Bridezilla at 23. At 43 my directive to my bridesmaid was here is the dress I am wearing and this is what I am using for footwear. Here is the theme. Wear anything you think works, I trust you. Honestly, my mom is more worried about the day being perfect. I just want the day to be fun.

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