This weekend I was lucky enough to spend some time with people I use to know. What happened when my old life met my new life was that I realized how much better my new life has become and how I wouldn't change a thing. I am the same person but I am a better me now. Where my life use to revolve around baseball and I would scoff at people who left a game early, now I realize my needs are not the only needs that have to be met. For example, my husband attended the tailgate and the game I shared pictures of Sunday morning while suffering horrible back and shoulder pain. He never complained once. I knew he wasn't feeling well and yes, we left early because I asked him to go. We live 55 miles from the Ballpark and he was stiff and tired. Does this make me a bad fan? I am sure some people would think so and yet it makes me a good wife which is way more important to me. For the record, I am hoarse and my voice is crackling so while I may have left in the 8th inning, I cheered the whole time and gave the team my all. Judge me and call me a bandwagon fan if you want to. At one time in my life, I would have criticized me too. Now baseball isn't my whole life.
Breaking News: relationships are hard. Any relationship but especially marriage. You can't just run away. There is always someone around who's needs are equal to your own. The thing is, when that person is your best friend, even when you don't like them, you still love them. My husband makes me smile when the Rangers aren't playing well. He makes me soup when I don't feel well. He makes me crazy when he refuses to see things my way. He keeps me focused on the big picture when the little stuff gets in the way.
There are no perfect people so expecting love to be perfect is setting yourself up for failure. My husband isn't who I would have pictured myself with. I mean he looks nothing like Blake Shelton and yet, I still think he is cute. (He does have a stupid sense of humor like Blake so that's a win.). He is a hunter and I want to save the world one animal at a time. He is a Cowboys fan and I am a Rangers fan. In other words, we are opposites. Really some of the times he annoys me most is when he starts arguing with me that baseball season is too long. I have debated this for three weeks with him until I am just ready to throw a baseball at his head.
Learning to share the remote.
He hates my shows on HGTV and I can't stand watching hunting and fishing shows. Let's be honest, I am better at sitting through his shows than he is mine. I just read about chickens online.
I never set out to fall in love with my husband, it just happened. He never meant to love me back, it just turned out that way. Sometimes what you don't want and think you don't need is exactly what you need and want. Love has nothing to do with the physical appearance or monetary value of the other human either, it's about how they compliment and challenge you.
You can't just do what you want anymore, there is someone else and there is no privacy. There were days when I was single when I would read and not get out of my PJ's all Saturday. My husband has to have a project and he always wants me there to keep him company. In other words, he makes me get dressed every day and that is a little annoying sometimes.
When my new life met my old life Sunday, I realized that all the struggles to be together, raise his child, find our place on earth and do it all without killing each other was worth it. I don't care about the things I lost or the people that fell out of my life. I don't need to compete with people who's lives are just as imperfect as mine or more so. I don't miss the old boyfriends or the old single life. When I kiss him goodnight and he kisses me good morning, I know for the first time in my life, come hell or high water, we have each other's back and nothing feels as safe as that. It's like coming home after a vacation and getting to sleep in your own, comfortable bed. No bed feels as good as your own, no matter where you stayed and no place is as comforting. That's love.