Thursday: Throwback, Thoughts, & being Thankful

Poor Thursday, nobody really loves you except to bring Friday on.












Then there is the throwback thing. Okay, I give up.







This is me circa 2000?





My dogs Nikki and Penny who are my angels in heaven now Circa 2008.











And of course Ries and Sadie throwing all the way back to...last Thursday!






Thoughts:
-Am I the only one who, when sick, wants to be left alone but checked on when I feel like it?

Tuesday I was in the middle of a terrible asthma attack that lasted nearly 10 hours and at one point I told the BF to leave me be. I don't need to be taken care of. I have done it myself forever. Then about 3 hours later when I was sure my lungs were about to collapse and he was sleeping, I was sad because he was asleep! I know, I know! Women are crazy.
To be fair, he did check on me & he is sweet in putting up with my totally irrational behavior over the last 24 hours.

-Opening Day is less than 2 weeks away and I am not ready! I feel like I have been pulled in 73 directions and I don't know how to get excited for baseball season. Of course I am going. I am, if the tickets ever show up! It won't take much for me to be ready, either. The minute I head out to Rangers Ballpark, it's over!

-Trying to sell a house and find a new house is so much more complicated than I thought it would be. Why can't my house just find a way to be done and sold at the same moment a perfect house shows up?

-How many times can Apple possibly update my iPhone in a year and when will the iPhone 6 come out because I need more storage!

-It never ceases to amaze me how selfish and self centered some people can be while there is a world of people who give everything they have and are for others.

-When I am sick I have the strangest dreams! I was giving birth in one, on my living room couch, no less. The baby I gave birth to was probably a 2 year old. I mean...what IS that? Oh, I have been reading the Divergent series too so there was another dream about war, civil unrest, and me being Rambo! Never gonna happen.

Thankful-

-Of course I am thankful for my Guy who is also my BFF, my family, and some awesome friends who have been there for me though thick and thin.

-I am always thankful for everyone who bothers to read this blog.

-My dogs who guard me and watch over me like good protectors. Especially when I am alone and the man is fishing or hunting.

-My job because it makes everything in my life easier to pay for! ;-)

-Brave men and women who serve and protect!







This rescue inhaler because I don't think I would be alive today to write this blog without it.

-Dreams of the future because no matter how far fetched the dreams seem, they give me a reason to get up every morning.

-Learning to let go of mistakes and unattainable dreams from the past because sometimes you have to wake up to the fact that yesterday isn't coming back and make the most of today! That doesn't mean the past doesn't matter but you simply can't live there.

-A future project that I am just starting to map out after years of putting it in the impossible folder on my laptop. I will share it when it becomes a reality.

-Mostly I am thankful for loving and being loved. Something I never truly felt until the last 3 1/2 months. Being loved unconditionally, no matter how unreasonable you are being. Being secure in that love enough to know that you can be grumpy or sick or PMSing (sometimes). Having quiet moments when you know that everything is good no matter how stressed you feel or who is trying to cause problems. They fail but there is always someone who wants to cause problems and take away your happy.

-Finally, I am thankful for fresh fish and the amazing fish tacos that come from fresh fish and my man catching a bunch more this weekend because a full freezer is a happy home.

Sorry this blog is so scattered. Blame the meds! Happy Thursday!!



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Taking back control plus Weekend Wrap Up!

Sometimes you just have to laugh at the people who try so hard to meddle in your business. I use to get angry when someone who should know better, an adult, would try so hard to make my life miserable. I wish I could say this was years ago but it was weeks. Suddenly I realized, after a few pep talks from my friends (thank you Sonja and Dawn!) that I was giving up my power by letting someone effect me. I took my power back. Now when someone asks questions that aren't any of their business, I laugh. See, here is the thing. Some people have decided my life is much more entertaining than it is and filled with scandal that doesn't exist.





So I gave up all of that and laugh and by God's grace I know that I can do anything! I can love someone who hates me. I can defend someone who hurt me. I can forgive someone who wants to destroy what I have.





I am not perfect and God doesn't expect me to be. He rarely called the perfect, as you can see, he just equips the rest of us. What I realized is, I can't control anyone's misconception of me. I can control how I react to their behavior. God has given me enough wisdom to pray through it and pray for the people who would bring me down.

Now on to my weekend! Just a few pictures from our Valentine's weekend camping!






































I could very easily give up everything and live here. We work hard but we sleep well, tired and somehow work doesn't seem much like work when you are outside under a beautiful sun and in nature enjoying what God created and you get to spend it with people you love.

I am so grateful to have a very special group of people I love so very much and I realized this weekend, God has given me everything I ever wanted. I am not going to waste the gifts. I am simply going to make sure they know how important they are to me, every day of the year, every chance I get. Oh, and honey if you are reading this, I am going to work on that PMS thing! XO

One final thing:







Spring Training has started and Rangers pitchers and catchers have reported!!! It's my favorite time of the year: Baseball Season!



Simply,
Laura
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Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura

Looking Back on the Memory of: GoodBye!

August is my favorite month. I am not impartial here. It's my birth month. Of course I adore it. I love everything about August.




From the peridot birthstone which just so happens to be my favorite shade of my favorite color.




To my astrological sign. It's a fire sign. Come on. I'm a red headed German-Hungarian, 100% red, white, and blue American! Would I be anything but a fire sign?
So typically here is how the week before my birthday goes:
1 week before my birthday:
I break down into a pile of tears at the thought of being another year older and everything I haven't accomplished....AGAIN. (That happened like clockwork exactly one week before my birthday this past Monday.)
4 days before my birthday: acceptance and excitement start to set in. I have made plans to spend time doing things I like with people I love so my birthday will be special. This is where I am today. Right on schedule! Happy!
-The next 3 days leading up to the day--a blur of biking, Beeritas, baseball, and people I love making sure I don't do stupid things (or people) I will regret. :-)
Summer nights in Texas are hot y'all and people forget how many beeritas and who they are. I promised myself I won't compromise myself ever again. I have learned an incredible amount about myself in the last 2 years and so much of it has been about the true value of me. So this year before my birthday I am giving myself one last gift. The gift of self respect. I am making a commitment to myself to love myself the way I love my friends and to not accept anything less than I would expect for any one of them.
Here is what I have realized about my expectations of romance:
-I tend to give way more than I get.
-in the past the men I have fallen for have all been wonderful, sweet, semi-honest with me, never honest with themselves, and totally incapable of making any decision about what or who they want and that is just not near good enough for me.
-I refuse to accept anyone who can't give me 110% of his time, energy, and self because I am going to give him 150% of mine.
-Relationships are a partnership not a take from Laura until she has nothing left to give. Right now, I have nothing to give anyone who isn't a friend or family member because I simply don't want to.
-there is nothing wrong with me. My past relationships failed because the guys were nice but they were stupid and honestly, and I am not bragging here, I am being real, neither one of the two men I loved did anything to deserve or earn it. That's ok. I still love them in a little corner of my heart locked up but not the same as I did. It's more for the way they helped me grow stronger. Without them I couldn't be free to find the incredible person I see staring back at me now.
-Life is a journey and two months ago I was so sad I was begging God to make my journey end. God wasn't listening but he did send me a wake-up call in the form of that Bike Accident Blog
-Since that time I have faced my Demons and grown happy. I even have had a curious run in the past week with a guy I once wished for and am so grateful ended up an Unanswered Prayer! Now he is sniffing around showing interest when ten years ago I was the one chasing him. I can't help but laugh because he is so very much the "Can't make a decision to save his life guy with a good heart but too stupid for his own good" that I have fallen for over and over. This time, I laughed and wished him a goodnight. This time I am waiting for a man who knows what he wants and doesn't want to play games. I am waiting on a man who tells the truth without being asked and without thinking. I am waiting for the man God sends. This time I am just plain WAITING!
Until then, I am celebrating hot August nights having a good time doing the things I like with the amazing people that God has surrounded me with and reminding myself how very lucky I am to have my friends...even if I Got Friends In Low Places.
(Sorry, had to get one more Garth song in there!)


Simply,
Laura
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