Living for Today: Let go, be a victim or a survivor!

This blog may seem harsh but this is not only how I really feel but this blog is true.



Are you a victim or a survivor?













Have you ever known anyone so consumed with what happened in the past that not only can they not let it go but they make up facts that didn't happen and seem happy in feeling wronged? They play they victim and try and convince everyone they didn't get a fair shake. They get into business that isn't theirs. They sit around feeling sorry for themselves. They make a big deal about things that don't matter and that can easily be replaced. They are stuck. They are not embracing the now because they are so wronged by the past.



















Life moves on and everyone else has moved with it but some people are stuck remembering their glory days of being a great athlete or the beauty queen. Nobody else cares about what happened 1, 5, 10, or 15 years ago or even last October. Life moves too fast for everyone. Everyone has problems of their own. Things in the real world don't stop because you are stuck and people don't have time for your games.



Being stuck is a terrible place to be. Being stuck makes you focus on all the things that don't matter. Counting how many times and by whom you were wronged doesn't make anyone happy, least of all the person reliving a past, much of which probably didn't happen at all the way they have convinced themselves it happened. Sorry, that's a fact. It simply didn't happen the way you think but it makes you happy to feel sorry for yourself so you make it up and try to generate pity.













Life isn't fair. Everyone has things that they struggle with. Everyone has illness and pain to overcome. Nobody gets a fair shake. We all have baggage and we have ALL been in bad places. It is all about moving forward and surviving.




I had a hard time getting over my past relationship because I felt I wasn't treated right. Guess what, I wasn't treated right. Who cares? Nobody cared but me and in the end I lost friends because of decisions I made that were bad. I focused on how I was wronged and how I was hurt and how I didn't get a fair shake but in the end, people got tired of hearing it. Nobody felt sorry for me but me. Nobody wanted to be around my bitter, negative self. The world moved on. It wasn't until I was able to let go of the hurt, anger, and frustration that I was able to heal myself and move on too. Moving on was the best thing I ever did because I could live again. Moving on was necessary for me to find happiness and I have found that.



You can't blame anyone for your present except yourself. If you don't like where you are at, change before someone else changes it for you. If you are unhappy in your relationship fix it or walk away. Do something.



You control your happiness. You are responsible for your situation, nobody else. People may pity you for a while when you play the victim but the story gets old. You choose to be a victim. The rest of us choose to be survivors.





















Simply,

Laura

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura

Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura

Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura

Reflections of a Single Life: A survival guide

When you spend the majority of your life not "in a relationship" a lot of things start to go through your mind. Most of them start out with "what is wrong with me?".


A friend of mine is going through this right now and talking with her the other day reminded me of how hard it is out there and how long I spent kissing toads before I finally found my not perfect but perfect for me Prince. (No, I don't mean Prince Fielder but I am happy for an amazing hitter too!)

Dating is tough. How do you meet someone? How do you know if someone is really in to you or just using you? How do you not take it personally when someone "Friend-zones" you?

I can't answer any of those questions but I can tell you that when it is right, it is still work but it feels easier. I can tell you that I know with every bit of my soul that my past relationship failures were meant to lead me where I am today and so were his and even through there are some really stressful things in every relationship, when two people are on the same path, the boulders blocking the path become pebbles.


So let me tell you my feelings on being single. Ready?

-Women try too hard. We go out of our way trying to make bad relationships work because we think "this is the one" or "he may be my last chance." I did both of those things and made excuses because I felt the man was running away from me because he was scared. Here's the thing, I forgot to examine what I was getting from that relationship and when I look back now, I realize I wasn't being fair to myself about what I needed. I wasn't even being myself. I put up with too much crap! I deserve to be first not thirty first and I deserve to know I am loved. Who cares what he wanted when the truth was, he wasn't giving me what I wanted or needed. I should have walked away after our second "date". I know that now, but I had no self respect.

-Women spend too much time on dating services trying to meet the one and filtering out the Piece of A guys. Truth here, I tried internet dating. My first love came from internet dating. For me, that never felt natural. What matters more is you get out and live and stop looking.


-Stop looking!!!
I know you have heard it at least a hundred times but true love seems to come when you aren't looking and probably don't want it. It happened to me. I didn't want a relationship. I didn't want anything. I gave up on men and just had friends. Sometimes you find a friend that makes you laugh and when you do, something happens. You un-friend zone someone and they do the same for you. Let nature take it's course.


Love yourself first!
Find your strength and love you! It's the hardest and most rewarding relationship you will ever have!

-What you think you want may not actually be what you need. Don't discount someone because he is a Republican and You are a Democrat or he is a Football fan and you are a Baseball fan and even try to accept him if he is a Yankees, Angels, or Cards fan when you are a Rangers fan! I know it is hard. Mixed relationships seem to work better. You need someone who pushes you outside your comfort zone. It makes life more fun! You get to do things together that is new for one of you. Share your passions!

Finally some things to know when you stumble upon Mr. wonderful, and you will!

-Someone else's nightmare may be your perfect, imperfect guy. Just because someone else had a bad relationship with the guy doesn't mean you will. People don't always know how to talk to one another but you may communicate better or simply have the gift to laugh off when he is being stupid. When you finally find that guy that treats you right, go for it. It's your life and you deserve it but you have to take the chance.

-Know that the hard times and struggle are what bring you together.
You are going to struggle! You have to learn how to be a "we" and that takes work, especially if you have been "me" and he has been "he" for a long time.

-Outside influences will try to tear you apart be they friends, family or ex's. People react strangely to your life sometimes. You would be shocked to know how many people I know who lost at least one friend and maybe several because they didn't approve of their mate choices. Oddly, the friends I have that went through that have really strong marriages and they have been a God-send to me as I went through a similar situation! You will find that the friends that support you no matter what are the ones that mean the most! I cherish them.

Don't give up! Know that God has a plan for you and part of it is to make you stronger. You don't have to be worried. Life works out the way He plans and you simply can't mess it up!

XO

Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura

Danger! Danger! Panem Withdrawal Imminent

I will finish Mockingjay this week and I am both excited and sad. I have pretty much devoured this series in a matter of two weeks. I don't have a lot of time to read so that tells you how much I love these books.

I have seen a bunch of maps of Panem.  They are all different.  I don't support any version.

So this is where I open my problems up on my blog and Facebook. Where do I go next? I have heard the Divergent series is good and my friend Micha suggested the Birthmark series.

What great books do you all recommend, to get over my Hunger Games loss??



Simply,
Laura
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The blog I debated about writing: Love One Another

I wrote a blog last year about how the movie "42" moved me http://simplymethewayiseeit.blogspot.com/2013/04/42-movie-that-should-change-your-life.html
(For some reason my blogger is acting up so I am just including the address)

I have been thinking a lot about the battle Jackie Robinson fought in relation to the current sports revelation that a player in the NFL draft is gay and the first known gay player just started playing in the NBA.   The arguments I have seen for why you just can't have gay players in a locker room are so much like the arguments that Jackie Robinson faced when he was called up to the major leagues.  

"They aren't like us."
"They will be a distraction"
"It goes against the natural laws"
"This is not what God intended"
"They can't shower together."

The things that are said are so silly, really.  We are talking about athletes who have lived their whole lives showering with other men.    They have worked as part of a team their whole lives and their personal choices off the field have nothing to do with their ability to play a team sport. 

People seem to hide behind religion as the reason for their disapproval or down right bigotry.   This makes me sad for so many reasons.   First is that some of the best people I have ever met are homosexual.  Next is that religion is not a matter of faith.  God didn't create religion.  He simply asked us to be faithful.  God didn't tell us to hate each other.  In fact, Jesus Himself told us to love one another and to let those without sin cast the first stone. 

Now, I don't know about  you but anyone wanting to quote certain scripture to the exclusion of the Book in full seems to be completely missing the point of Jesus coming to save us ALL from our sin.   I don't pretend to understand everything there is to know about religion and I am a huge believer in each and every person's right to believe as they see fit because, really, that is between them and God.  Guess what, so is sin.  It isn't up to me to judge which sins are unforgivable and which aren't.   It isn't up to me to question God.  It also isn't up to me to question God's children.  

I am a sinner.  I have faults.  I don't live every moment of my life as God asks me.   I do try to live my life with love.  I try to find the little bit of God in all of us.   God created me to be redheaded with hazel eyes and He chose for me to bare the burden of an eating disorder, quick temper, and stubbornness.   He made me and I am a perfect creation of Him.   God made homosexuals too.  They are a perfect creation of Him.  He loves us all.  He does not call us to love perfect people.  He calls us simply to love one another, as He has loved us, the way Jesus commanded. 

Love is too hard to find in this day and age for any of us to sit back and cast judgment upon other children of God.   Personally, I don't want to have to explain to anyone what I do in the privacy of my home and I don't think it is up to anyone to have to explain it. 

Now, you may think, why would she debate about writing this blog?   There are a few reasons, first is that I try to stay away from political blogs. (I know, you can't tell that by some of my recent posts.)  Next, is that I have strong beliefs and a strong faith and I do not want to start a holy war because of my beliefs.   Finally, until everyone does everything the Bible says, EVERYTHING, I think we should all just relax a little and try the love thing.  There is way too much to love to go around and this world is lacking in it, most of the time, to get wrapped up in who we love.

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