Happy Halloween: The Walking Dead Style

I admit I am late to this show. Really late. I watched episode one last Friday, actually. Thanks to a couple of days in bed with the crud post cancelled Jason Aldean concert (boo rain) I am now completely current.


I'm still trying to decide how I feel about Rick. When Shane was around and so bad, I knew. Rick was a hero. Now, I'm just not sure. Am I suppose to like Rick? Does anyone know?


I know how I feel about most characters on the show. I know about Hershel the way I knew about Dale.


I know about Tyreese...and I want to see more.


And of course there is Daryl. He is a badass. Who doesn't love a redneck with a heart of gold?





And a crossbow? I have to be honest. I laughed in several episodes. My bf hunts. I sent him a few texts that went something like this: Babe, Daryl says he was tracking this deer he shot for several miles but they showed it and it had 4-5 arrows in it. He shot it with a crossbow. How did he reload a crossbow and why would it take that many arrows to the neck? Answer: It's a TV show.
(Oh but I didn't let it go! No not me!!) Me: Yes but they said he tracked it for MILES! How long do deer run after being shot exactly? Answer: About 60 yards maybe. It's a TV show. (Oh but I still didn't let it go, no...not me) Me: But I know you have killed a 250 LB pig with one arrow so why would it take 4-5 to kill a deer and how did Daryl load that crossbow and shoot so fast? Answer: Laura, it's a TV show!
Me: so you're saying deer on TV are harder to kill than deer in real life?

Yep, that's basically our real conversation! Aren't you jealous of my boyfriend now??? Lol


Hope you all have a happy free candy day and get lots of Kit Kat, Snickers, Reese's, and Rolo's and if you aren't into chocolate may your bag be full of spree and sweetarts!
Remember:


Simply,
Laura
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Color me fifty shades of confused...

No...I am not doing my first ever book review blog. In order to do that I would have had to have actually made it through all of book one....I just can't do it. Oh, not because I am appalled at the subject matter. Frankly, I made it 3/4 of the way through book one without falling asleep or laughing hysterically over a year ago and simply gave up. I unintentionally heard enough of the rest of it read on the radio to assure me I wasn't missing anything that was going to rock my world or anyone else's. The book, in my opinion is darn near unreadable because the writing is just terrible.

What I don't get is all the buzz over who is going to play Christian Grey. Okay, really there are a ton of things I don't get...this book, Kim Kardashian, Obamacare, and chewing tobacco to name a few but let's just focus on this book/movie. Are we (as a country...not you or I individually, I am sure) that bored in the bedroom that this rather poorly written book which causes my friend, who is an expert on the subject, (yes, she is, actually. She lives the lifestyle and assures me the book is garbage) to instantly groan and list ten books, by memory that are better...if you're interested. (I actually am not but it's good to have friends with knowledge in different areas...lol)
We simply must be.

I can't even read the book without seeing Edward and Bella in my head knowing somehow this crap started as Twilight fanfic and devolved from there. I don't know...maybe if the people who are so interested in this book would put the book down and pick up the computer and order a French maid costume or a whip or something....just a thought! Maybe that's taking it too far for most people but honestly, it seems to me that if your relationship is boring or in a rut you spice it up. I am no expert by any means....That's why I have all kinds of crazy friends! (Just kidding! Before I get myself in trouble. We have known each other for 20 years and met at work. She's one of my best friends. She's colorful and fun and I love her for who she is...I don't judge my friends).

I saw this picture of this old couple walking hand in hand on Facebook a while back and it said in the caption how did you last so long? The answer was "Our generation didn't believe in giving up. We fought for what we wanted." I think somewhere along the way, maybe we quit fighting and started believing Christian Grey exists so now everyone is all excited to see what he "looks" like. Well, color me fifty shades of bored because I know what he looks like and he is the guy that occasionally falls asleep next to me or you. We all have a Christian Grey in our lives or we will someday and we probably don't need handcuffs to keep him (unless y'all are into that and then...go you!). Just being ourselves and being confident and fun and not so hung up on life stresses that we forget we love the person who snores and farts and leaves his dirty laundry on the top of the dresser, God Bless Him! That's probably all we really need...that's my opinion anyway.

Happy Thursday!!

Simply,
Laura
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Stress Is.....

In life you have moments.  Moments you never had before.  Buying a car or house for the first time is one of those moments.....and then you try selling one. 

Selling a house is an experience all special and horrible on it's own.   First, there are things you know is wrong with your house.  I mean, you live there.  You know the door that squeeks or the toilet runs or maybe the crack that is in the foundation that you kept meaning to have someone look at but never got around too because it was small.....and you are single and it was all so damn overwhelming in itself.   You know that.  What you didn't know is that all that furniture that you love along with all the wine glasses that you adore and all the sports stuff and the cute things that granted, really need dusting but dang they are cute and some of them, like the bells and stuffed animals you have been collecting since you were a little girl.  That is about fourty years for those of you keeping score at home.  Well apparently....those things aren't cute or adorable or even awesome to other people...no they are CLUTTER!


So last night I had a sweet friend I have known since 2005 come over and look at my house and she very lovingly told me....get rid of half your stuff and clean everything from top to bottom.  When you have done that, paint and think about tile and carpet in the half of your house that has concrete floors and well, about that foundation and landscape.   My head is spinning.   My life is spinning.  

There will be a storage unit for some of my stuff for sure because everyone may not appreciate my china cabinet full of wine glasses but I do and it took me 15 years to get a matching bedroom set so even if I have to put one piece of it away to sell the house, I am not losing my bedroom set.  I tend to like my house comfortably cluttered...I prefer to think of it as country cozy.   That may not be for everyone.  I admit the bedrooms were out of control with extra pieces thrown in.   I am afraid to let go.  Yes, even of those fabricated pieces I bought in college from Target and Walmart but I think I can let them go now! 

The romantic in me wants my sweet little house to go to a young woman just starting out who is growing her life and making her way just like I was 14 years ago when I bought it.  Just like the lady I bought the house was before me.   The house has a history of being owned by single women who love it and make it theirs and then pass it down to another single woman to take care of.  I have amazing neighbors who are sweet, funny and will be the perfect watch dogs for a young single lady.   I know I can't control that part but that is how I see it in my head.   My sweet little house needs a good future because it has been good to me and it is providing me with an amazing ability for a good future.   I am scared.  I am overwhelmed.  I am excited.  I have packing to do so if my friends don't hear from me....call the landscaper or the plumber.  They will know where I am.

Oh, if you are buying me a Christmas present....I like all variety of Lowe's gift cards.   Just saying!

Addiction: I may have a few...do you?

These are my watches. No these aren't all of my watches. These are my favorites....well really yes, but also my best. I have a couple others that are those cheap $10-$25 funky fashion jobs you buy for fun...ok several of those.

So let's recap, shall we? I like shoes, handbags, watches, Texas Rangers stuff, bells, baseball, being outside, and yes I like shopping. Not the crowds and the pushing and the grumpy December 23rd shopping at Walmart. Not the Saturday shopping at Walmart. Ok, not any day shopping at Walmart.

A moment here please, Dear Ghost of Sam Walton: you created a monster. This is by and far the Mecca for all crazy, half naked, she/he should never wear that in public, 'couldn't you at least have changed out of your PJ's/Swimwear/too tiny everything before you went to the store', rude, haven't bathed in a week, "we make Duck Dynasty look boring", What exactly IS that people on earth! That isn't even the employees! Most of them are exhausted, afraid of the nuts they have coming through the line or haven't cracked a smile since you died kinda gals. The old guys and girls at the doors don't count and neither do most of the guys in hardware and sporting goods. They rock! Honestly though, this place is shopping hell on Earth!

Ok, so back to the liking shopping. There is a sort of rush you get when you buy something you really want or find something you have been looking for a long time. You know the rush I mean? The excited, happy, joyous feeling of triumph especially when you know you are getting the perfect thing and at a great deal! You wait in line to get to the front of the store and the anticipation builds. When you finally reach the front you are nearly jumping out of your skin! The cashier says "Did you find everything you needed" and you say "why yes, thank you" trying to sound calm but wanting to do a hand spring even though you know you will fall on your face and end up in the ER. You pay, you load, you go home and the drive home you are singing every song on the radio like you just got all four judges to turn around for you on The Voice!!!! You are in top of the world. Life is good. You get home and unpack your purchase. You are so happy.
You slaughtered the beast. You won the prize. You fell in love. Your team finally won the World Series. You just conquered the world!

Six months later that thing may or may not be sitting forgotten in the closet but today, TODAY, you scored!

That's my story....the story of addiction. "Hello, I am Laura and I am a shopaholic."

Simply,
Laura
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It's SPORTS! Redskins, Redbirds, Rednecks, Redheads, Relax Wahoo!

Bob Costas was on his soapbox (again) Sunday night during the Cowboys-Redskins game over this never ending "controversy" regarding sports franchise so called racist logos. I thought about this and I wanted to take a look at some in question and some not actually in question.




















The Cleveland Indians and the Washington Redskins are facing the most heat...but really, the Braves alternate logo isn't really any better and look at the Chicago Blackhawks! I mean, honestly, the Kansas City Chiefs have the only tame logo. I don't find anything really bad about 3 of these. The problem with the Washington team is apparently the name, leading one of my friends to observe "no NFL team currently has a Camo uniform. The NFL is really missing out." My response was "maybe they can change the Redskins to the Rednecks. It is an easy fix.
Still, this isn't the end of the story! After this story came out a writer of Irish decent started calling for the University of Notre Dame to ditch the Leprechaun because it is insulting to Irish-Americans. Really? Is it anymore insulting than say Celtics? Let me show you what I mean:








Forgive me Irish-Americans if I fail to see a huge difference here. Oh, the Notre Dame leprechaun is supposed to be more violent..he is showing his fists. I don't want to be picky here but the team IS called the FIGHTING Irish. It's meant to be a tribute to the spirit of the Irish people. They aren't known as a culture that just lays down and gives up. That's not exactly a bad thing.
I'm not trying to discount the importance of respecting culture in the US but sports is also a part of our culture and our tradition and in cities like Atlanta and Cleveland they have things like the Tomahawk Chop and Chief Wahoo. Those things are not meant to disrespect American Indians any more than the Texas Rangers team and fans tried to endorse deer hunting (the team has no formal opinion but this is Texas) or clawing anyone's eyes out (I may personally support this given the right situation) during the 2010 playoff run.
The question becomes where does it end? If those teams are offensive how can this not be to people of Norse decent? How stereotypical can you get?




What about teams who have names that have religious significance? I can't pray in schools or say the "under God" in the pledge anymore. So how about teams that allude in one way or another to God or the Devil?!?!
















You think that is silly? Nobody would ever change the name because say...the word Devil was negative. Nah, that wouldn't happen!








With all the things we have to worry about. With government shutdowns and companies that are either still not giving raises or having layoffs or families with unemployment. With all the problems in the country and the world and with gas at $3.00 and whatever a gallon who really cares that much about the Redskins, Irish, and the St. Louis Cardinals. Oh, if everyone else is going to have to change their name I am going to insist the Cardinals change theirs! They nearly ruined my favorite birds for me. The state bird of Indiana, that has a deep personal significance. If a small percent of loud Native Americans get their way, a very loud Strawberry blond American wants hers. That's how this works, right? We all make our own rules because we don't like something no matter how thin our skin or how grown up we should be?
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Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura

Pumpkin Spice and the Zombie Apocalypse: a Halloween Story!

I don't know how it happened really. It all seemed simple enough. A little coffee drink a few years ago. That's how they got us. Well, not all of us. Some of us were immune. The lucky ones. Before the rest of the world knew it, the crazy had taken over. It was everywhere. Not just coffee! There were donuts, muffins, cupcakes, cookies, cakes, bread, bars, pins on Pinterest, tweets, Instagram photos, and Facebook mentions. You couldn't go to the gas station without seeing donut holes and then it happened. McDonalds introduced the Pumpkin spice Latte and the world went McCafe crazy!


The evil genius behind this Pumpkin Spice craze was none other than Jerry Jones! Owner of the Dallas Cowboys! What the world in general didn't realize, but what several Cowboy fans had long suspected as the truth, however was reality.


Jerry had in fact been dead for several years and was a zombie using the mad pumpkin spice craze to spread the zombie virus world wide!



His evil plan was working perfectly! He had no idea the resistance was forming behind the fearless leader Yu and his band of might warriors! They began to fight for the souls of those not yet lost!


They managed to enlist some of Jerry's top generals when his devious plot became known:


The world fought back against pumpkin spice! It started slowly. First, Beltre showed Tony Romo how to turned his baseball cap around the right way! Baby steps!!! Next they learned how to swing a bat and take a zombie head off. For this they needed Nelson Cruz's Boomstick and Adrian Beltre's one legged approach.

The battle rages on! The fight is not over. However with Luke Bryan, Jason Whitten, Blake Shelton and others leading the field battles against the zombies, it IS just a matter of time. Down with pumpkin spice!!!


Simply,
Laura
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Break-Up Time Tweet-Tweet!

For a while now I have noticed that my life on Twitter has become minimal except for a few select sermons here and there. My life became busy and twitter became monopolized by bullies and busybodies who stick their noses where they don't belong.

Today I made a decision that I had been thinking about for a long time and which really came to a head yesterday to totally withdraw from twitter. My primary account will remain for my blog. My private account will remain for my friends and my close twitter friends. I am not going to allow people I don't know on that account because frankly, I am tired of the BS. My Facebook will remain only for people I actually know. I am going back to being Simply, Laura...because I like me and frankly I don't care what anyone else thinks about my life choices or my baseball team. Speaking of which....now that the Indians are out I am officially a Boston Fan!!! Go Sox!

The truth, by the way, is that I haven't really been on twitter in months. I have no idea what anyone tweets anymore. I don't see it. I barely check what they tweet to me much less see what I miss. I can't keep up. It isn't a huge loss to anyone. So it is farewell thee well Twitter. It's been real. You gave me some nice friends and some great times and a couple of World Series memories that I...well yeah....


Simply,
Laura
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Is it Just Me????

So I thought I would write a quick little blog this morning about some silly things going through my mind. It's a cavernous jumble now that baseball season has ended for my favorite team and I am left debating on who's bandwagon to jump on...Boston or Cleveland I am really counting on you!
-easy open band-aids impossible to open?? What is this? Half the time I can't get this open when I am not bleeding and in pain so how am I suppose to do it when blood is gushing mine or worse a crying kids?




- am I the only one who has waking nightmares about Final Destination type "accidents" happening...Like when you hear things rolling around in the back of your SUV or have to stick your hand down your sink to clear something in the disposal..,for example?
-does anyone else have a radio alarm that goes off and have the ability to sleep through it and just incorporate whatever is being said on the radio into dreams when exhausted. This leads to some really screwed up dreams but explains why Adam Levine has been a regular in mine. Hey, that's my story!
-does anyone else feel like we may be one country but the culture of the states are distinct and very different. I have to deal with a lot of them and there are several that I would love to visit but I know from the mindset of the entitled people I deal with on a regular basis that I would never live there.
-is anyone else stuck this morning thinking "How is it only Wednesday?" Okay this one I know isn't just me but man, oh man, what a crappy week!!!




Right now I really want to be out in the country somewhere with a cup of hot coffee and a big hand in mine and a long walk in the woods ahead of me while I look at nature at it's finest and thank God for all the beauty He Created!!!! Happy Hump Day!
Simply,
Laura
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Enjoy the Ride!
Simply,
Laura

Enjoy the Ride!

Simply,
Laura