Thursday, June 12, 2014

Being a Grown-up: It had to happen someday

Lately I have realized exactly what a strong and amazing woman I have become. I'm not tooting my own horn. Most of the credit goes to my mother who raised me after my father's death with the help and guidance of her parents, his, some great teachers and later the support of my step-father. Kudos to the small village it took to give me the solid values that made me responsible and only semi-goofy.

We all have baggage and we all face opportunities in life that determine our future. I have some major faults. In no particular order:

-I am too sensitive. For years I have been afraid to open myself to love because I thought people who I loved will leave me. My father did. Friends seemed to leave, lord knows guys always did....until now.

-Making bad choices to stay safe was the story of my life. I went to talk to a therapist in the spring of 2013 because I knew that I was subconsciously doing this to make myself impossible to love. She told me I wasn't crazy and the problem was only that I was too willing to accept lazy men.

Oh I can find 20 things I want to do more than anything I have to do but luckily I have a nag at home who pushes me to do the stuff that needs to get done. It drives me crazy but it is probably a good thing.

That's just a few faults but here are some of the strengths I have lately noticed in myself and I am very proud of these.

-I am not afraid to take responsibility for myself and others. Sometimes the responsibility is huge. Loving someone, sometimes comes with small packages that are a lifetime responsibility. I love these little responsibility and I am embracing the challenge. More, I am looking at the future and making sure that I think ahead to so we do what we can today to make sure and plan for the future.

-Being realistic. I thought for a long time I wanted to adopt but then I looked into the cost of not only adoption but the cost of college education for the future and realized that as much as I love kids, maybe I should just take care of the one that God has given me as a responsibility and help my brother with the six that are his. That seems like enough for one family. I'm not 33 with 35 years until I retire.

-Motivating and comforting people.
The truth is, in my line of business, I have to do it a lot. I am pretty good at it. I am the one people come to with their problems. I am also the problem solver. If there is a problem, people look to me to fix it.

When you grow up, you face big girl problems: Buying a house, selling a house, getting engaged, planning a wedding, being married, having a child, raising a child, paying for college, paying for the unexpected home repair, car repair, and then comes health problems, yours, your parents, your spouse, your child. How you handle these things, how you face these problems, and who you choose to surround yourself with and trust are all part of the growing up and being an adult. Find happy, positive and supportive people who will be there for you and love you through the tough times and who you can love through theirs. I just try to be the best version of me despite my faults and no matter how mad someone who is pushing my buttons may make me. The truth is, the only people that push my buttons anymore push them not because they attack me but because they hurt a child that is important to me. The rest, just don't matter.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No comments:

Popular Posts