Have you ever thought about your own thoughts? Do they go from 0-300 in 2.4 seconds like mine? Here's a few examples:
- He said my butt looks smaller. He is looking at my butt!
-Why does my dog feel the need to be the cream in the Oreo cookie in bed? Doesn't she know you can't eat cookies in bed?
-I really want to go on Flea Market Flip. My hubby and I could win that! That counts as quality time as a couple, right?
-Should I dye my hair? Will my husband notice or is he too busy looking at my butt?
-How long before you take birthdays of people you use to know off your phone calendar? If I keep putting it off, I may be celebrating birthdays of people who hate me forever...is that the Christian thing to do?
-Kitchen magic: when only one person in the house can see the floor needs swept.
-Do men have garage magic because I gotta tell Ya, I never care how dirty it looks.
-Mmm, coffee! When God sent manna from heaven it was really instant coffee, I know it!
-People really wait outside for 24 hours for a new Krispy Kreme? I'm thinking donuts now. Great there goes my smaller butt!
-Deflategate: what happens when you squeeze a boob too hard especially at the wrong time of the month? What? It's about balls? Well I'm not going there! Oh footballs! Well the Patriots cheat. I know because I saw it on South Park.
-What blizzard? It's going to be 70 today in Dallas. I would love a Texas Style blizzard which means everything shuts down with some snow/ice combo. Bring on the blizzard.
-Do people oversees really like President Obama that much? They can keep him if they want.
-Why don't people pay me to tweet and blog and spend a day on Pinterest? Have you seen my Pinterest? I have some good stuff on there. I mean, really!
-He noticed my butt!