Yesterday I mentioned that I had decided to try on-line dating. This isn't the first time I have done this. I actually met my ex through an on-line dating service. Of course, that was 10 years ago and my how things have changed.
Apparently, chivalry is nearly dead. Treating a lady like a lady is a lost art form. I have received messages from men asking me about my sexual appetite and if I like foot massages. I ignored the massage artist. I told off the ones asking about my sexual preferences.
I have been asked out by 5 men between the ages of 25-29. Now, I am willing to go a little younger but honestly I can't fathome what I would talk to a 25 year old about. When I answered a couple of them and told them I was flattered but no, they responded that they really wanted to take me out. One told me he only dates women 35-50. He is 27. The answer was still no.
Apparently there are a bunch of men on DFW who are looking for a nice woman.....either that or a hook-up. I actually changed my profile to say I was not interested in a hook-up. Of course, it also says I want kids and this doesn't seem to stop the men that don't from contacting me. This isn't negotiable. I want a baby. I am not dating anyone ever again that doesn't want a baby or an actual relationship at some point. Look, I am picky. I don't want just any man to be my kids dad. He is going to have to be pretty amazing to get that title..
My mom gave me some advice: Don't sleep with all of them. This is the funniest thing ever, really. I never have been that girl. I made promises to myself after I made some errors in judgement 10 years ago. I have been true to myself. I haven't done anything I didn't actually want to. That's about all I want to share.
So I have been asked out by what seems like a very nice gentleman who has to this point been attentive, polite, funny, and even made sure I was okay when I told him about my accident. We may meet for drinks or lunch. It will be in public. I don't know what to wear. He thinks it is funny and unusual that I am such a baseball nut. Some things never change.
I am still very unsure of all of this. I am also overwhelmed by the response. Truly. I have been feeling lately like the ugly one among my single friends. I have a hot friend and a sweet adorable friend and I just feel like the chubby one. The one nobody wants. This is all on me but I worry. What if they see me and run? What if they think I'm too chubby. I put pictures up. They can see my body. I said that I am chubby. I am confused by all of this. I don't know what to consider myself anymore. I don't think I am big enough to be considered a big beautiful woman but I guess that is a matter of opinion. I am the American average, for what that is worth. I am a work in progress. My mind hasn't caught up with my body and my body isn't where I want it yet. I know this is mostly on me. Maybe it is just that whenever I feel rejected the easiest thing to blame it on is my body. I am not going to lie. I rarely feel sexy. I shoot for cute.
That brings me to Fitness Friday. My scale is broken. Well, not broken. The battery is dead and it takes a special one that I don't keep in stock. That said, I believe I am at a plateau. It isn't a surprise really. I lost so much weight and so fast and I have been working so hard that my body just needs a moment or a few weeks. I have decided to start running again. I have pounded the pavement twice this week and man does it feel amazing. Things become so clear when you run. Last night I ran and cried. It was amazing. I was thinking about my dad because the last time I ran it was training for the half-marathon I ran for cancer charity. I don't run fast and I can't run for more then 5 minutes before I have to walk for a minute or two. I would swear you can already see the difference in my legs. I have muscular legs but I think running actually shapes them better than squats. I am going to keep running as long as my back can take the pounding. This is not easy in Texas in the summer but I am about the most stubborn woman you have ever met.
Happy weekend people. I will be at the Ballpark. Tweet me if you are there! Love to say hi!
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