Monday, June 11, 2012

Monday's Blog: If I were a guy.....

Friday afternoon I had a little retail therapy with my friend Rachel and a late lunch. Pad Tai and fortune cookies. Here was mine:

This passionate new romance if he ever shows up better read Friday's blog. That's about all I can say as warning to the poor smuck.

Friday night I met some friends at Chuy's in Denton for 3-ways.

This is my favorite place not in Austin, Tx to sit and have drinks. (There are Chuy's in A town but I like Baby A's better).

This is our waiter who kept the drinks coming, didn't mind that we were a little flirty, and kept us on dip.

Saturday we will skip. That's on a need to know basis and y'all don't!

Sunday this is what I did:

The trees messed with me so I took them out!

This got me to thinking, I really could use a handy man around my house. That got me to thinking, I wish I were a guy.

So, why? Well.....

1. The ability to pee standing up, anywhere has to be liberating. I mean really guys. Do not underestimate this! There have been a few Friday nights in my youth were I would have traded a finger for this!
2. More muscles! I don't really know how some of you don't spend hours in the mirror watching yourselves flex. Oh, do. Well, that's okay. I would too. (Boobs are highly over rated for the record and totally not fascinating.)
3. The ability to eat carbs. Let's face it, guys get to eat more, are more muscular, and get to actually eat carbs. It isn't really fair.
4. Lack of emotion. Men seem to have a "who gives a crap" attitude about most things. Women tend to wear their hearts close to the sleeve. Well, it starts with we have hearts and works from there but you get my point.
5. The ability to be bad without guilt. Yes, some women can do this but most of us can't. It isn't that I don't want to be bad. It's that being bad comes at a greater price. If I were a man, I think I could do a lot more damage without feeling bad. Heck, I would probably get high 5's, Fist Pumps, and thumbs up every day. Every other day, at least. I would be a man-ho for sure!
6. Men are just better athletes. Honestly, I don't like women's sports unless you count gymnastics and ice skating.
7. Less fatty parts. Please see the boobs comment above.
8. A general knowledge and love of power tools. I am not going to lie....I love my drill. I don't know how I lived without it. That said, saws scare me. I trimmed that tree with a hand held saw. No power besides my arms. I bet if I were a guy I would have better tools. I have 2 drills, 2 sanders, a couple hammers, and somewhere I have some screw drivers and power hedge clippers.
9. No monthly friends. Um, duh?
10. Deeper voices. There is a power to this. My grandfather had a deep voice and big hands. When I was little and bad, he just raised his voice and raised his hand like he was going to spank me and that was it. I would run from the room crying. He thought this was the funniest thing....ever. Mostly because my mother did the same thing when she was little.

There you have it. Why I wish I was a guy....well, not really. Know why? Cause boobs have more power. No, I am not fascinated with them but men sure seem to be. Honestly, as soon as I get the rest of my weight off I am going to have mine done....maybe I will blog about it. Haha!

Changed my hair this weekend. No, not the color (that's the flash) just the style. What do y'all think?

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Micah said...

I can't agree with all of your points. I just can't. I know plenty of emotional guys. Plenty. And I'm a better athlete than some guys I know. Also, I know some girls with way better muscles than some guys. I know you're generalizing, but I'm just letting you know I don't necessarily think the grass is greener. Maybe that's because I do love being a girl/woman. There are a few things I can do than a man can't. And there isn't much they can do that I can't (or won't at least try).

DoxieDoodle said...

it is a tongue in cheek blog. There are really no women sports however. That part i was honest about. I would never pay to see women softball unless i knew someone playing. Same with basketball. Just boring.

DoxieDoodle said...

oh, the boob job i am serious about. LOL. There is more power in breasts then biceps. :)

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