Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Blog Update: Super Tuesday

I haven't been doing a Fitness Friday for the last couple weeks because I have been drinking too many calories on the weekend and everything I lose, I put back on Friday and Saturday. So, I decided to spend the week eating vegetarian and trying to focus on not drinking so much. I am not a big drinker. I never drink during the week. I just have a problem not drinking when I go out. I know not to drink my calories but it is so hard. I won't lie, I like that tipsy feeling. It is like being me only without all the stress and pressure. The filter is off and I can let go and just be me. Silly, huh?

So, with that out there I thought I would share a little about my personal challenges and the way God answers them. I have 8 year old nieces. Yes, they are all 8. There are 3 of them. If you are lucky enough to know multiples, count yourself blessed, the triplets have been just an amazing experience. To watch 3 people who had the exact same experiences up to birth and show such separate personality traits from the moment they came out. Well, it is so awesome. Logan is my middle niece. She is a fiery little thing. Stubborn and funny. Smart and willful. My mom always says "She is a mini-you, Laura." She is me but better. Logan doesn't have the fear I had growing up. She has her own experiences and challenges but she hasn't lost the way I did.

Logan also has absolutely no filter. Sunday I was at the pool with the kids trying to teach them to dive. Lolo is a great little athlete and was swimming fast enough to beat not only her sisters but her older brother. At one point I was walking to the deep end to help them dive and Lolo said to me "Lala you have chubby legs. They giggle." Gosh. My heart just sinks. I have so many issues with myself that someone I adore pointing out my short comings is just heartbreaking. I reminded myself she is 8. She loves me. She is 8. Then I went home and cried.

My friend Trish called me Sunday just to talk and let me cry. She reminded me how far I have come and how fast and that everything on my body hasn't caught up. Things take time.

Monday I was at the office and ran into 2 people I don't see much. Both of them stopped me and told me how awesome I look, how amazed they are at how much weight I lost and asked me what I was doing. I really wish I could say, eating tacos, pizza, and burgers and sitting on the couch. Instead I said working out and watching what I eat. Just an aside here, nobody wants to hear this. They want to hear "Oh. I found this secret pill that makes you thin." I realized when I heard from the second person that this was God's way of telling me I was good. I trust God to fix what I can't and sometimes just to do what I won't: pat myself on the back.

I have this amazing thing that happens lately when I go shopping. Things don't fit. Things are too big. I can't tell anymore if something will fit by looking. Even shoes. I bought a pair of sandals Monday at lunch. I thought they were a 9. They were an 8 1/2. I didn't even realize this until I was paying for them. Believe it or not, your feet actually do get smaller when you lose weight. Everything gets smaller. Even the things I wish didn't.

I focus so much on how far I need to go that sometimes I forget to just take a moment, turn around and appreciate how far I have already come. Sometimes giving myself a break is the biggest challenge of all.

Have a super Tuesday gang!

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Monica said...

Family members are always the ones that get me. A comment like "You were getting so skinny, what happened?" could ruin me for a week. Its great that you realize you have to give yourself credit for what you have accomplished so far!

DoxieDoodle said...

Thanks Monica. Family in general comes with no filter, I guess. They all feel the need to share what they think about you and sometimes I wonder why they think we actually care. LOL

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