I have done very well this week but I have decided for my own sake that I am going to stop posting weight loss updates for a short time and focus on my physical and mental fitness.
First let's visit about the physical. That is the easy part. Well, easy to focus on. It is the challenge. I have been alternating my cardiovascular between biking, jogging, and the elliptical machine. That is a lot of leg and tush work and in very different ways and I have to pat myself on the back because I have done very well. I love biking. I hate the cars but I am going to try and go out to the lake this weekend. The running is still a mental challenge but I am getting better and my endurance is better already. The elliptical I added late last week to give my legs and bottom a low impact alternative. I know from experience too much pounding is bad for my 41 year old back. I use to do elliptical all the time and was surprised how much stronger I am. Resistance levels that I could not do last September are moderately challenging now.
My friend Micah recommended this arm workout which I have been doing every other day. Along with this daily:
Well, some form of abs. Actually I alternate the Ab routines so I don't get bored. I have an awesome yoga DVD from Bob Harper that includes a 15 minute Ab workout that kills.
I am actually working on the mental. In a conversation with a friend this week she reaffirmed what I already knew, I have a terrible self image. Actually more then one friend has helped me with this in the last week.
I don't like what I see in the mirror. I know the mental is so much harder to fix than the physical. I have done an amazing job working on improving the physical but I have some stinking thinking.
So, for now, I am focusing on thinking of myself not as a number on the scale or a dress size. I am forcing myself to learn to trust that I am amazing and worthy and completely lovable because of who I am not what I see in the mirror. I am trying to love what I see in the mirror, imperfections and all. Mental fitness is so much harder to achieve. The negative self-talk is automated and has to be turned around.
So much so that I wrote on my wrist to get the point across to my head. (No, my Twitter friends, this is not my next tattoo.)
I am so much better than I was a week ago. I will be better still next week. I believe in my strength because I understand the battle best. I told a friend last week, anyone who could possibly think they would ever find anyone better than me, underestimates just how amazing I am. Believe it or not, I actually believe that! Now, I just have to live it.
Sorry, this is a long one but it is the struggle of my lifetime.
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