Sometimes I go to a very female place. The "what does this mean" place. For example someone told me the other night that I was beautiful and he liked that I was thick. Now, I heard fat. I had to have it explained to me that thick actually means sexy in this case. Who knew?
I am always trying to figure men out. Some men there is no explanation for, you know who you are. Most men are simple if they know what they want. Chocolate cake or chocolate chip cookies? Which are you? Some men want cookies, cake, and ice cream. Some men think that is what they want. It can drive a woman crazy.
Today, for the first time, a man explained men to me in a way I can actually understand, baseball. He said, "look your problem is, you are swinging for the fences. What happens when you try to hit a home run?" I said, "If you are Ian Kinsler, you pop up." He said, "and if you are Josh Hamilton, you strike out. Stop trying to hit a homer and take what the pitcher is giving you."
This made so much sense. I have the choice to swing or not. I have the choice to hit a single or strike out. I still have to step into the batters box and take a chance but I don't have to let every at bat decide my emotions or my life.
I can chose to continue worrying about "What this means" or I can just stop. I tend to be overly sensative. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. This isn't a good place for you to wear your heart because it gets banged around a lot and you risk it getting hit by a fastball.
Someone said to me, life is so much simpler when you stop caring. I truly believe this. I also believe that when you do you lose who you are and what you want. Everyone gets hurt. Everyone. You still have to swing. Sometimes when you do, you strike out, sometimes you hit a home run. Sometimes you walk. Sometimes the pitcher throws a curveball.
The truth is, everyone won't love me. Everyone won't like me. Some people may spend eternity with no idea what they think about me or worse, they may never know me at all. I know who I am. I am a good, loving, giving, usually pretty nice, baseball loving woman who also likes girlie stuff like high heels (Hush you), handbags, and pretty things. I am better than most and I am completely imperfect. I am also too sensitive and this causes me to over-react at times and pop-up. My friends love me despite this major character flaw. I love them too, the way Josh Hamilton loves Ian Kinsler.
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