Thursday, March 24, 2016

Batman V Superman: Do we have to choose?

Batman v Superman: face off keyart

Just in time for the movie release, what you have all been waiting on, my thoughts on the movie Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice.   If you have been living under a rock, or like me, you never get to go to the movies and watch very little TV when it isn't baseball season (What?) here is the trailer: 

I am going to start off explaining that I don't really have a favorite between Batman and Superman.  I was really more of a Batgirl and Wonder Woman kind of kid.  I want to see this movie but there are a few questions I have before I go in.  

*First, do we have to choose before we see the movie?  Are there Batman sections of the theaters and Superman sections?  Does everyone get a button so others can ID you as a Bat or Super fan?  

*Why do Batman and Superman need to fight?   Who's sick idea was it to say, "you know, we have two really loved super heroes.   There have been dozens of TV shows and movies about these super heroes.   What we really need to complete these guys is to make them fight each other! A battle to the death!!!    More than that, make people choose sides.   You won't even worry about the dark and light side of the force because when good battles good, our very existence comes into question.  Yes make them fight and maybe one of them will become the hero of all heroes!"   I like peace people.  I like my heroes being friends!  

*Did Batman and Superman actually run out of bad guys?   I can't come up with any other reason why they would need to fight.  I am assuming that ISIS butt has been kicked in the world of Gotham and Metropolis.  If not, these heroes are really wasting valuable time on each other when they could be taking down actual evil. 

*Is Robin involved?  What about Lois and Jimmy?  Speaking of which, why is Bruce Wayne single?  He has had a number of lady friends over the course of a handful of movies but he never seems to stick with any of them.   

*Why doesn't Batman ever listen to Alfred?  I think by now, we all realize that Alfred is the voice of reason in Bruce Wayne's very screwy world.   I mean, the man speaks and the audience listens.  First of all, whatever Alfred is warning the bat about now, it is most certainly foreshadowing the future.  Second, who doesn't love poor old Alfred?   He is like everyone's grandpa.  (Sorry Pawpaw, you are everyone's grandpa now, I guess, but Alfred was first.)

*Isn't it time that Superman got a better costume?   Look, I know, I know, some things are classics but next to the super tech vision of man that is the Dark Knight, Superman in his PJ's just kind of doesn't match up.  No matter how hot superman is or how buff.   

*Speaking of costumes, looking at the promotional photos of Superman and Batman, are you kidding me with those bodies?   If either of these guys had thighs that size or chests, they wouldn't fit into any of those cloths that Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne run around in the rest of the time.   Do they take puny pills for daily life?

I am assuming that the "Dawn of Justice" portion of the title is the Justice League, which may or may not be reinforced by the theatrical preview where Wonder Woman shows up.   I am also assuming that there is more to this than a "Mine is bigger than yours" contest between Batman and Superman and that eventually they work things out,  do lunch, talk shop, Batman gives Superman some fashion advise, they kick Lex Luther, The Joker, and whomever else comes around, in the bottom,  and spend weekends fishing and hunting and at baseball, basketball and football games.   That Gotham City vs Metropolis game is going to be a killer tailgate Brah!   In other words, I am assuming this is a movie about how Batman and Superman become BFF's and that they both live.   If not, this is going to really suck.  Superheroes can't die.   Besides, I am really ready for Aquaman to show up.  I mean, a guy who can talk to the fish is way more sexy than a guy in a bat suit or pj's.  

Thanks for reading and sharing.  

Enjoy the Ride!

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