Monday, March 28, 2016

It happens to everyone eventually, we become.....

I don't know how it happens exactly.   One night you go to bed a perfectly normal, single woman,
living with your dogs, partying and drinking reading until 4 am on Saturday, and you wake up one morning to find out "congratulations, you are your mother."

Okay, it probably didn't happen like that.  In fact, I didn't recognize the symptoms until I had the kid.  Now I catch myself doing and saying things that only my own mother has said to me.  

So here are a few ways I have become mom:

My mother talks to all the other drivers on the road.  She use to drive me crazy when I was a kid.  We aren't really Italian but we pretend to be in the car, hand gestures followed by the inevitable conversation with the person in the other car who, of course, has no clue what the crazy lady waving her hands about, is saying.  So last week I had to take O to the dentist and I found myself making a push motion with my hands while saying "Come on grandma, move it along!  The speed limit is 45."  Just a note, while arguing with drivers who can't hear you, it is always best to tell the slow ones the limit.   It legitimizes your argument which is impressive to absolutely nobody.  I did something like this at least 3 times before it dawned on me that I was my mother. O just laughed when I told her and said "You do that all the time and it drives me crazy."

*The Eye roll please:
When I was a teen, I fell into the eye roll habit, without even knowing it.   My mother would go nuts when I started talking to her and rolling those eyes.   She would chase me out of the kitchen saying "Don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady!"   Now a days I am chasing O out of the kitchen saying the exact same thing and trying not to hurl the nearest kitchen appliance at her. 

*Dirty Floors:
I have never been the best house keeper but one thing has always driven me absolutely crazy and that is having dirty floors.   I get this one from my mother through my grandmother, her mother.   My grandmother use to follow my grandfather around with a broom and vacuum because the man was forever tracking dirt on to her clean floors.  She would run around after him saying "Louie!  My floors are clean and you are tracking mud all over!".   My mother did the same with my step father and now I run around after my husband, kid, and the dogs with a broom, mop, vacuum and sometimes the deep cleaner.

*Over cooking:
When I have people over they are going to be fed.   This is just a fact of my life.  People may leave my house tired, cold, and sick of chickens but they will not leave my house hungry.   My mother always has been an over cooker and as a result, when there is a holiday, we all get care packages of leftovers.   When we have friends over for dinner, I spend a good amount of time on the menu and I always overcook.  It drives my husband batty but let's face it, people like coming to my house in the country for food.

Another I can trace directly to my grandma.   My grandparents on both sides actually had gardens.  My mother has always had a garden even if she had to grow tomatoes in containers at times.  My husband grew up this way as well so it was a no brainer when we got the acre plus in the country that one of the first things we did was plant a garden.   My chickens are making this more challenging this year because they happen to love fresh tilled dirt and they dug up all of my first round of veggies however, we placed a raised barrier around the entire garden this week and barring rain today, I will be replanting the veggies tonight.

Family First:
My mother always put us first.  She took her portion when we were finished getting ours in the unlikely even that there wouldn't be enough food.  She always made sure her kids had what they needed even when she was raising us alone after my father's death.   She made things fun for us when she could.  I do my best to do the same.  My husband and step-daughter always know that I will have a hot meal for them, even if dinner is just bacon and fresh eggs.  They always know they can count on me, be it a school function or a chore that needs to be finished before the man goes on his annual fishing trip.   I am not afraid to mow the yard or dig a hole.  My husband has said more than once, I am his rock.  I feel that way about him but it is nice to hear.

Driving the kiddo to school the other day she started to tell me a story then said "Ask dad about the time...."  She stopped.  "Oh my gawd!  I am becoming my father!"   I laughed and said:  "You are doomed kid, you have 4 parents and eventually you will become one of us and marry one of us." My husband is a combination of my step father and both my grandfather's with a bunch of my brother thrown in and I realized this about 3 days after I met him.  It is actually one of the reasons I did marry him. He reminded me so much of my grandfather that I just knew he was the one.

There are a million ways my mother and grandparents shaped the person I am today.  These are just a few examples.  The funny thing is, when I was a kid, my own mother use to say "Oh, my gawd, I am becoming my mother!" and I can remember thinking to myself "There is no way I am going to become my mother!"  Now I look back on my life, the sacrifices my mother made for me, and the strong woman she is, and I think "I can only hope that I am worthy of being my mother's daughter."

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