Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Blog update: Women, A Users Guide.

So after spending a lot of time this weekend doing pain staking research with friends in various states of surviving 'Men Problems' I thought I would share what I have already knew but men seem not to. I should probably say that this list isn't directed at one specific man but men don't seem to be paranoid like women so maybe I don't need to.

1. No matter how put together a female looks on the outside, on the inside she is probably massively nervous and a little unsure. Especially if the relationship is new or undefined. Even my amazingly hot friends have this problem.

2. If she gave you her phone number and you like her, you should probably use it. Believe it or not, there are a lot of old fashioned women in the world and they won't make the first phone call or send the first text.

3. Guys, if you like her, don't wait 3 days playing it cool after the date. That is just super annoying. It is game play and nobody likes games in relationships.

4. If you like her, take a risk. You will never know if you don't try. Forget what all the bitchy women have done to you in the past. Chances are very good, if it is my friends anyway, this woman is a good woman. Give the girl a break! (I got rid of my last bitchy friend a year ago. If you think it is hard to be involved with them, trying being friends with them. They suck your soul out!)

5. If you don't actually like her, stop wasting her time. She likely has better things to do and better people to do them with.

6. Just be honest with her. If there is a problem tell her what is wrong without making her feel bad. She will either accept it and work with you to fix it or move on but both of you deserve the truth.

7. Just because a woman is sentimental or emotional doesn't make her weak or crazy. I understand every man can't handle the emotions. My grandfather only told me he loved me once. The rest of the time he just said 'Pappy see ya" when I left. I know he loved me because of the things he did for me. Crazy things like eat a terrible cake I made when I was 8. He couldn't handle the excess emotions and yet my grandmother was as high strung a woman as you would ever meet. He loved her until the day he died.

8. For the love of GOD if she sends you a flirty message, respond. I have actually had to have this thing men do, just dropping a conversation, explained to me by male friends. Even understanding your position doesn't make it easier.

9. When you fail to respond here are some things women think:
He was in an accident, oh my God I hope he isn't dead.
He is ignoring me. I am going to kill him.
He doesn't care. I should just move on.
I should have been a Nun. (No, you don't have to be Catholic to feel this way.)
I should have been a lesbian, at least I understand women.
Damn, how do I get the fire department to my house without them getting mad?
Probably in that order.

10. Women over think everything. Let me say that again. Women over think everything. We look for clues about how you feel & what you are thinking. You may have told us last week we are amazing, awesome, beautiful, special, sweet, kind, funny, sassy, or wonderful but if you don't show us once in a blue moon we probably don't believe you. Actions, boys, really do speak louder than words.

Okay, hope that helps a little. If that's not working try this:

To be fair guys, there is a lot we love about you or we wouldn't keep trying. You make us feel safe. Big hugs from your strong arms are always welcome. You make us laugh. Some of you have the great talent of making some of us smile. You can be very sweet at times. You may drive us crazy but it usually is a good crazy.

Ladies feel free to add comments if I forgot anything. Guys feel free to add counter points.

Happy Tuesday! Three more days until this!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad all rights reserved


Micah said...

Gah. I feel like I should forward this to The Distraction. :-/

DoxieDoodle said...

Haha! Yep it was pretty easy to write. Lots of material! LOL

b_pate said...

After the first sentence, I don't get the rest of #8. I've re-read it 20 times now and it makes no sense.

Good blog post though. Men already know most of these things, but we like to "try" and have our cake and eat it too....which is not fair to you women. We can't help it, we're just jerks like that sometimes.

DoxieDoodle said...

It is a poorly written sentence. I meant to fix it. Basically, guys have explained to me that when a man feels the conversation has hit an ender, they just don't respond. Women on the other hand, just don't get that there is ever an ender. :)

Monica said...

Love everything about this!

Popular Posts