Have you ever had those moments when your human skepticism has to do battle with the spiritual right thing to do and you fail?
I struggle is with the little things. The money struggles. Trusting God with that part and letting go.
Twice in my life I have been approached by young women in parking lots for "gas money". Once by a woman holding an infant. Once by a young woman with an angelic face. Both times I had the rare $5.00 in my purse and didn't surrender it. Both times I have gone into the store, debated with myself that the $5.00 isn't worth the guilt if they really are in need and gone back out to give them the money only to find them gone.
The reason I consider this a failure is that as a Christian I am called to see Jesus in everyone. I would not hesitate to give the $5.00 to Jesus so why do I hesitate to give it to God's children? I had a long talk with myself about this on the way in today and decided that I will just give the $5.00 next time because the guilt is too much and I would rather risk being taken for a little money than live with the thought someone was in need and I didn't help when I could.
Trusting is hard. How do you let go and let God?
Simply,
Laura
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4 comments:
I think we struggle because there are so many people out there "scamming" others that we can't see those who are really in need (or maybe we don't want to see those in need). I'm the same way. I've been approached before by someone asking to help me fill their car up at the gas station. Part of me wants to help and part of me thinks it could be a scam.
I remember living in DC and there were a lot of homeless people on the street and you would almost become numb to it. I also had a couple of situations where I would buy a sandwich or something for someone and they would get annoyed with me and tell me to just give them money. Obviously a few bad apples but I just grew kind of apathetic... which is dangerous and I would constantly need to keep myself in check. It's a balance and you kind of just need to go with your gut. There was one time specifically where a woman was standing outside of a Dunkin Donuts asking for money and I avoided eye contact and went inside, ordered my stuff and left. And when I passed her again, I just decided to ask her if she wanted some food and she totally accepted my offer and it was a way to help out that made me feel good and (hopefully) helped her out as well.. Just go with your gut I guess and do what feels right?
It's so hard. I can't give money to everyone and I can't take in every stray animal and I would...believe me, I would. Still, there was something that has haunted me about these two women and I think that is why I have had such a hard time with figuring it out.
I agree Jess, I remember a similar incident when I was at college in Austin. I was going into the bank to get some book money and there was a girl that went and got some food for a homeless man who had a sign that said will work for food. He thanked her and then when she turned and walked away, he tossed the food. They did a story on one of the disabled veterans that was out begging on the street corner back at the time and the guy was living in a huge house with 2 cars and high on the hog from handouts. I don't mind giving. I want to help people if they are in need. I think because these were young women I worry more. I don't know. It is so hard.
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